It’s my birthday!

Posted by Sarah on Jul 19, 2010 in Uncategorized |

Just thought I’d shout that out, somebody’s got to! I must say I do enjoy my birthday and usually celebrate it for about a week. I’m sure when I’m old it’ll be the whole month of July that is dedicated to my birthday. Why not I say, it only happens once a year so make the most of it. I’m so glad that I’m going back to weight watchers next week because I’ll need it after all the celebrations this week.

We’ve had a pretty good weekend. Bec brought the kids over for a play on Saturday afternoon which occupied Bill and Bridie, always a good thing. Paul sails every Saturday so we do get a bit bored at times. Will and Bill are such good friends, I’m so proud of my Bill as I’m sure I’ve said before. Not that you can tell that Will has autism half the time. Still, if he has ever had a meltdown Bill just takes it all in his stride, talking all the way through!

Yesterday was Sunday and we had choir with Donna Williams. We have decided not to do music lessons with Donna, mainly because Beth doesn’t really want to and I thought that if I pushed it then she may not go to choir either. Also, the bloody rabbit has chewed through the keyboard wires so she couldn’t do her homework. Donna has split the choir up into girls and boys. There is a lovely girl that goes who is the same age as Beth, (I’ll call her Chelsea) I’ve spoken to her mum about maybe getting together for a playdate, though they live in Mornington and we’re in Belgrave, about an hour from there. Maybe we could have lunch after choir one week.

They started off the session with some songs that have been rehearsed. They sang High School Musical which was the song that Beth picked all those weeks ago. Donna got it up on You Tube so that they could read the words but Beth was a bit funny about it. I think she likes a slower version which she has seen so she kept asking Donna to pick a different one than she was. They also sang Bananas in Pyjamas for the younger girls and when they had to catch the teddies Beth and Chelsea were very cute, chasing each other and catching the other one. Beth was in an argumentative mood however and kept correcting people if they sang the wrong words or calling out silly things.

Donna was fabulous to watch as a couple of the younger ones either didn’t join in or hung on to their mums. She made up songs and just improvised. One of the girls wanted to sing a song about bubbles and Beth said it should be about blesbub – the 2 sylables back to front. Donna just went with it and as Beth rudely called out other things Donna just added them into her song. She ignored it when Beth yelled out that it was a stupid song and just kept singing. Then Beth cracked the shits about going to Grandma and Grandpa’s house for lunch afterwards, saying that they were too old and too poor. I guess it was because they don’t have a heap of electronic games like we have, though she plays on the computer there a lot. Maybe because she has to share it with Bill and Bridie, who knows, she was just being difficult.

The first time we went to the choir it was down in a little room at the back of Donnas garden, the last few have been in the house though. I’m not sure whether it’s too echoey or too many distractions are there but Beth hasn’t really enjoyed it since the first time, though she does look forward to going there.

We went to lunch at Bev and John’s afterwards where Beth ate a bowl of soup and a huge plate of roast beef and veggies. She has an amazing appetite, not that you’d know it, she’s skinny as a rake. She eats more than Paul and I eat and we have to slow her down as she shoves it in her gob so fast that her cheeks are full. We’re very lucky as I know that a common problem with autistic kids is their fussiness with food. Beth’s not keen on spicey foods but she eats pretty much anything and loves her veggies and fruit.

Bethie was so sweet this morning. Bridie and Bill got up and gave me my presents that they had chosen. Both of them had picked boxes of chocolates, clearly so that I would share them with them! Beth got up a bit later and as I put her breakfast down she exclaimed that as it was my birthday she should have been making me breakfast. I had already eaten mine, otherwise I would have taken her up on her offer. She’s very caring in that way and when she says things like that I feel so good inside, like a mummy should. It makes me truly believe that she loves me and wants to look after me, not like her keeper that I sometimes feel like, here to feed and clothe her. It makes me feel like we will get there, because if there is love there, everything else is ok.

2 Comments

Natalie
Jul 20, 2010 at 9:37 pm

I know this isn’t exactly a comment on your entry, but I was wondering if you had any advise. My son (turns 11 this year) has huge self esteem issues. He try’s to do everything perfect, then gets really down on himself when he makes a mistake. It really effects him at school and he’s learning the guitar and really struggles with that to.

Do you have the same problems with Beth and if so, what do/have you done to help – apart from provide huge amounts reassurance?


 
Sarah
Jul 20, 2010 at 9:58 pm

hi Natalie. No, Beth doesn’t really have this problem, I think that’s the big difference between autism and aspergers, Beth doesn’t really have terribly high expectations of herself which has it’s good and it’s bad points. On the plus side it means that she doesn’t ‘let herself down’ but on the negative side it means that she doesn’t really have any aspirations to better herself.
Have you told your son that he has aspergers? I found when I told Beth that she has autism it helped me to explain why she’s different that other kids and why she has to be more aware of things such as traffic as she doesn’t pay as much attention as others. I made this a really positive thing which seemed to help, focussing on all the things that make her unique and special to me. I guess the only suggestion I can make is to do a similar thing. Hone in on how well he tries at things, even rewarding the attempt rather than the end result. Praise him when he copes with disappointment well and even model it, making a mistake on purpose but saying “Never mind, I’ll try again and maybe do better next time.” Explain that each mistake teaches us something. I’m not sure what else to suggest. I hope it helps!


 

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