We are not ‘starts’

Posted by Sarah on Nov 1, 2010 in Uncategorized |

Beth has some funny ways of looking at things sometimes. I know that most autistic kids think literally but sometimes it’s not that obvious. Last night Beth was trying to convince us to go to Knox to buy her a DVD. When Paul said to her “Well it’s 5.30 so for a start Knox isn’t open…..” Beth replied with “We’re not starts though!” Good argument! When she’s in a shitty mood (like she seems to be a lot lately) she’ll argue very convincingly. Once again I got the “Yes Beth, we’ll go to Knox straight away darling and get your DVD.” She ended up being banned from the computer for the night cos she just wouldn’t let up about getting this bloody DVD. She just kept harping on about it. I warned her and threatened her and she promised to shut up about it but of course she just couldn’t help herself. I hate it when we have meltdowns like that but I have to follow through otherwise she’ll think that she can do what she likes. Unfortunately it only makes my life harder when I do have to do what I say I will.

Sometimes I wonder if she’ll ever grow up out of the silly things that she does. Yesterday we went to Bev and John’s for lunch. Beth came out of the study and had wrapped tape around one of her fingers. It must have taken her ages as I had to cut it off there was so much. And it was really tight. I was worried when I got down to the skin as I thought it might bleed but it was fine. I don’t know what possesses her to do these things. (Mind you Bridie had patty cake paper things stuck to her boobs with sticky tape the night before as her halloween costume!) Beth’ll cut her hair or get DVDs stuck on her fingers, just to see what happens. Mind you I remember doing things like that when I was a kid. Mum had to take me to the doctors one time for shaving with Dad’s razor. You know when you cut yourself but it doesn’t hurt straight away. I just kept going! I liked to put the white glue on myself to make it peel off like dried skin. Sometimes, like Beth, I just couldn’t help myself. I got my finger caught in a bed once, in a knot hole. It was awful as everybody was laughing at me. I got so angry but couldn’t go anywhere! Dad had to cut the wood to free me. I did however grow out of it so maybe there’s hope yet.

Beth’s been doing the ignoring trick with me again this week. There’s a sleepover at school on Friday and she wont talk to me about it. We’re going to see Mary Poppins on Wednesday. I asked her if she was looking forward to going and she turned her back on me and told me to stop talking. I have no idea why she’s doing it but it’s getting on my nerves. I tell her it’s rude and make her turn back to me but she just gives me an answer to shut me up.  I think it’s be one of those things that has originated somewhere and gotten to this stage without me knowing why. I wont be able to fix the original problem as Beth probably doesn’t even remember what it was. All I can do is work with the current state of events.

So many issues are ones of common coutesy and manners. Beth will push past me to get somewhere she wants to go. She’ll step on my feet if they’re in the way. She’ll help herself to somebody elses food if she wants something that she sees. She’ll fling herself around if she’s excited and bugger anybody who gets in the way, she just doesn’t see them. Some things we can try to combat with social stories and ‘what if’s’ but you can’t preempt every situation. I know there’s an awareness issue as she really doesn’t know that she’s doing it most of the time. Still, it doesn’t stop my frustration and the unreasonable belief that she must deep down know what she’s doing. Maybe she’s just faking the whole thing to get attention!

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