It’s only the morning of day 2 of the holidays and already I’ve had an eventful morning. We spent yesterday literally doing nothing which was wonderful. I’m finding it hard going, lots of yucky things going on that I wont go into, back still hurting, missing Dad and Pat like crazy. I’d like to curl up in a ball and forget about Christmas but I just can’t. Anyway, I’m looking forward to all the lovely presents I’ve bought for myself.
Beth seems to be taking the whole Virgin Mary thing a bit far this year because she keeps telling me she’s pregnant. When she says it I ask if she’s been having sex with anybody and she says no. So I say she can’t be pregnant and she says that Mary was a virgin and she still got pregnant. She says it at least once a day. Last night she came out moaning telling me she was having contractions! I told her to go and do a poo.
I just thought I’d share with you my eventful morning. It wasn’t anything much in the scheme of things, just a series of incidents that make up my life and again remind me that we’d make a good reality show! Bill had his appointment with Miguel, his grief therapist. He’s from Chile. We missed the last 2 weeks as firstly Bill had camp and secondly it was the last week of the year so I didn’t want him to miss any of it. Anyway, originally I was going to cancel today, I am so tired and just over it all, but I got up this morning and thought bugger it let’s get it done. The girls weren’t terribly happy about it. So off we go, we got there a bit early and sat down waiting. Beth states that she hopes that he’s cute so she can ask him out. I told her that no, she can’t ask him out, he’s too old for her anyway. She wants to ask everybody out at the moment. He is pretty cute but as she seems to like the before shots of the boys on Snog, Marry, Avoid I feel he’s probably safe, too pretty for her! So in goes Bill with him. I look down and notice that my skirt is actually on inside out. Beth is doing things like pressing the button down on the water dispenser. No cup underneath, just into the overflow thing. Bridie is lying in the middle of the floor complaining because she hasn’t had breakfast. Then she says she needs to go to the toilet. I get up to ask if we can use the toilet and a huge fart comes out. Literally falls out of me. I really need to do more pelvic floor exercises, otherwise by the time I’m an old woman I’ll be all fart! I think my talking loudly has masked it but no, apparently not according to Bridie. So off we go to the toilet, I of course let the girls go first as any good mother would, then when my arse is in the air about to hit the toilet Bridie opens the door to go out, straight on to the office cubicles! I was mortified! I am actually crying as I write this, luckily I can now see the funny side.
So Beth and I sheepishly make our way back to reception. Me making sure that she didn’t try to eat the gingerbread house positioned on the table we were walking past. It brought back memories of her first communion when she reached over to steal the bunch of grapes that were there for decoration! Miguel comes out with Bill and asks me to come in for a couple of minutes. Bill says it will be fine, he’ll look after Beth. I remember that I forgot to put my skirt on the right way in my hurry to leave the toilet but in I go. All good. We leave and I asked if Beth behaved herself. Not quite. Apparently she said very loudly to all who could hear that Miguel and I are having an affair! All this before 10.30am!
