I’m feeling rather flat at the moment. Beth is refusing to go to school. She doesn’t seem to know what the problem is, she just hates it. Every morning she tells me she’s sick and this morning she nearly vomited with making it look like she was. She coughs and sniffs and sits on the toilet for ages telling me that she’s got the runs. She cries and yells and pleads and I just don’t feel like I can do it any more. I can’t keep sending her somewhere where she has no friends and it’s making her miserable.
I’m going to call the school today. There are packages that you can access that help with transitioning to training that will help with future employment. I know we’re told about them in year 12 for the kids that are leaving after finishing their studies. Apparently you can access these though once your child has a pension. So I’m weighing up our options. I don’t even know if this will make her happy but she can’t be much more miserable than she is now.
I’m also going to see a psychologist at an autism clinic on Monday. I’m meant to be going by myself first so if madam is home I guess I’ll just have to take her with me. The plan was to discuss her queen attitude, the one where everybody has to do what she demands. The one she has at school. Now I guess I’ll be talking about what’s next for her.
I’m thinking that, for her anyway, going to special school after mainstream wasn’t such a good thing after all. I feel like she either should have been in special all along or mainstream. Being in mainstream meant that kids pandered to her a little because they had that filter that stopped them from being annoyed by her, or at least showing it that much. Similarly having an aide meant that she wasn’t independent, something that shows up so much in special school. She’s a bitch to the other kids because they don’t do what she tells them to do. Then she says they are bullying her which probably has some truth to it. But is also probably in response to her treating them like shit.
A friend has a daughter in the same situation. She’s at home all the time now because of school refusal. What the f do we do with these kids? I don’t give in, I don’t let her play on her tablet when she’s home and in fact I’ve told her today that she needs to help me with washing and cooking and cleaning. I’m not a bad parent! But I feel so bad at the moment…
