Tuesday 1st December 2010 – a quickie

I’ve had Bill home the last few days and Beth home today too. Bill got no sleep last night with a bad cough and Beth decided to follow suit with the coughing this morning so figured as I had him home I’d leave Beth home too as I’m off out for brekkie for Bec’s birthday tomorrow and didn’t want her to get any worse and have tomorrow off. In the end she was fine.

Last night Beth came home all excited talking about packing her bag for a sleepover and to get her bathers to go for a swim at a friends house. I’ll call this friend Tina. I explained to her that Tina hadn’t said anything to me at all about a playdate and while I knew that she did indeed have a pool it was something I’d have to discuss with her parents. Beth has never been invited to anybodies house before as a playdate and I assumed that she had heard the kids talking and thought that she was invited too. I planned on talking to Tina’s mum when I got the chance.

When it was time to pick Bridie up from school I didn’t realise that Beth had stuffed her bathers under her top. When she saw Tina come out of school she leapt from the car and called out “I’m ready for the playdate” very excitedly. Tina and another friend Julie both looked in confusion as I ushered Beth back to the car, telling her that no, she had had the day off sick and she was to wait in the car. The girls asked me what she meant and I explained that Beth had thought that Tina had invited her for a swim in her pool. Tina started laughing which started Julie and the other girl with them laughing along with her. I was feeling rather rung out by kids up coughing all night and said to them “You don’t need to laugh at everything that she says, she just wants to be your friend for goodness sakes.” Both of the girls stopped then and Julie commented that yes I was right and that it was really sweet.

Now I don’t want you to get the wrong impression here. Both of these girls have been lovely friends to Beth over the years, Julie in particular is fantastic with her. I just wanted to show what happens when there are a few girls together. By themselves they might have had a bit of a chuckle but it was full on raucous laughter and I felt horrible knowing that this could happen at other times. Luckily Beth doesn’t seem to realise when these things happen. I then proceeded to embarass myself by turning to Bree and bursting into tears. I’m feeling a bit sensitive today anyway and I’ve been in tears off and on since. I’ve sent an email to Beth’s teacher explaining that Beth seems to be a bit obsessed about going for a play and wont stop talking about it. I think that kids don’t realise that when they talk about sleepovers and swim play dates that if Beth is there she thinks that she’s included. It can be quite hurtful to her to know that she’s not invited so she keeps pretending that she is. It’s a hard one because they are only kids and that’s a fairly grownup concept to get your head around. I know they meant no harm at all and Beth didn’t even care but it hurts me nonetheless. I am so dreading high school.

About Sarah

Mother of an autistic child wanting to write about my personal experiences
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2 Responses to Tuesday 1st December 2010 – a quickie

  1. Natalie says:

    I know how you feel. My boy gets invited for playdates very rarely – more often we have his friends over our place – I can never say No when someone wants to come over. It’s heart breaking when your kids don’t fit in and don’t really know why.

    We are moving during the school holidays, and I dread the move to a new school. I know that in the long run, it will only be better for him (we are moving from a country town with very few services, to a metro area), but in the short term…. It’s going to be really hard…

  2. Sarah says:

    yes that will be hard. That’s what I’m dreading about high school as nobody else from our school is going to it. Mind you, a friend moved her son at the beginning of grade 3 or 4 and he’s blossomed. At least the bad habits will hopefully not go with your son to his new school. I feel for you xxx

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