Autistic Children Blog

It’s been a week full of excursions in my family. I went to the zoo with Bridie on Monday with the school, Bill went to Imax on Tuesday with the school and Beth went to the city on Wednesday and Thursday with her school.

As a rule Beth doesn’t like to go to sleepovers at the school or school camps. I’ve always figured that she likes her home comforts, don’t we all really, but I know her ipad plays a big part too. I also like to think that she will miss me, whether it’s true or not. When I asked her about school camp this year she said point blank that she wasn’t going. She said she’d already been there as it was the same one that they went to last year. Her teacher had said that it didn’t matter as much this year, it was open to the whole of middle school so she may not know as many people. But the sleepover at the school was important. They were going on excursions on both days, sleeping at the school. If they didn’t sleep over they wouldn’t be picked up ’til 7pm on the Wednesday and dropped back at 6.45am on Thursday as they were long days.

The headaches started on Friday. Imagine a falsetto voice with a hand upon the forehead “ooooh, I’ve got a headache!” Me saying “No you haven’t, you’re going to the excursion. Don’t spoil the whole weekend with your fake sicknesses because it just wont work.” Sympathetic I know but I’ve lived with it for years. She would have been right at home in the days of smelling salts and fainting on couches. Well if they had wi-fi!

Tuesday night she had a bad case of the runs. “Bloody hell” I thought “here we go. Serves me right for making plans for the Wednesday when I don’t have to leave at 2 to pick her up.” Wednesday came and she hadn’t had to go to the loo again but she had woken up sniffing. I had checked it in the night and her breathing was a bit coughy when she was asleep so I knew it was real. She got up and had some breakfast and I asked her how she was feeling. “Not very well” was the croaky answer. “Well” says mean old mum, “If you’re home sick from school you know you can’t play on the ipad.” The surprising answer “Then I’ll go to the excursion”. I was so excited. I hated school and would have jumped at the chance to stay home, ipad or not. I could read, I could watch tely, I could – not go to school! She must have actually wanted to go except for her ipad and that was a huge leap. I took her off to school, explained to the teacher that she had the sniffles and one runny bum so call me if you must and off I went.

It was so strange without Beth that night. Bridie of course jumped into her spot in the bed. We ate food that Beth didn’t like. I missed her but I didn’t miss the driving. When I picked her up on Thursday she came out beaming, she had a wonderful time. They had been to Old Melbourne Gaol and to the Magistrate Courts as they have been studying law this term. The only mar on the day was when her teacher told me she had lost Beth in the city. She said that they were walking along, she had told the group they were turning a corner and when she turned around Beth was gone. She ran back and around the block and there was Beth who has gone up to an older man and told him she was lost. Thank goodness, I’m so proud of her that she did that, she could have just gone running into traffic. Easily. I know there’s the whole stranger danger thing but really, you have to trust somebody sometime in that situation. And it’s such a minute chance that the person you ask on a busy city street will be a bad guy. Anyway, her teacher frantically searched and found Beth talking to the man. Miss H said that the next day she realised what Beth had done. When she said ‘we’re turning here’ Beth turned around and walked in the other direction. This time however Miss H was more alert. Oh my goodness, it could have been so much worse but it wasn’t so I just have to heave a sigh of relief and not think about it really. When we got in the car Beth was very excited to tell me all that she had done, even down to what she had eaten. I think I’m lucky, another friend said her son told her to mind her own business when she asked him how he had gone. Must be a boy thing!

I can’t believe we’re into our third (or is it forth) week of term 3 already. Time just flies. We’ve been very busy in our family but not a great deal autism related so not much really to write about Bethie. I had a parent teacher interview last Monday, Beth is doing pretty well. She’s slowly seeming to improve her attitude in class, doing what the rest of the class is doing without complaining and independently doing these things which for me is a big thing. We did have a bit of a laugh. Miss H. told me that Beth had pretty much convinced a teacher that there was such a thing as an umbrella bird. They were doing an alphabet challenge where they had to name an animal with each letter of the alphabet. I asked Miss H. if she had checked if there really was such a thing as Beth has excellent general knowledge and usually doesn’t make facts up. When I got home I checked it out and yes indeed there is such a thing as an umbrella bird. I got great pleasure in writing in Beth’s diary about it!

There was an incident at Beth’s school last week. My son Bill has gastro on Thursday and I just couldn’t drive the other kids to school, firstly because he couldn’t be in the car for that long, secondly because I couldn’t leave him while he was ill. I opted to give the girls the day off. Usually with gastro we all get it one after the other so I wanted to be on alert just in case. (It turned out just to be Bill thank goodness.) Beth of course then developed a fake cough and even tried to make herself vomit so that she could have the Friday off. Which is a shame as she’s been going to school happily for the first time in years. Anyway, on Friday Beth got in the car when I picked her up and told me that a boy I shall call Sam was arrested and put into prison for stabbing the cooking teacher in the hand. She told me that their principal had told them all at assembly. I had forgotten about it until yesterday (Monday) when I saw all the mums for our coffee afternoon. They told me that on the Thursday when we weren’t there apparently they had the carpark cordoned off with police and they ended up having to taser the boy and take him away for the night, right at pickup time. I was speaking with Beth about it, asking her if she knew if Sam had come back to school or if he had been expelled or suspended. Beth asked why he would be and I told her that it was very dangerous and he shouldn’t have done what he did. Her response; the worst possible punishment : I bet he lost his ipad for the night! Yes I’ll bet he did!

I’m still taking Bridie to the naturopath with success. Her tummy aches are almost gone and she has been enjoying going to school which is such a win. Whenever she gets a tummy ache we look at what she’s eaten. The time before last it was after spaghetti bolognaise and garlic bread, she had already been cleared for wheat so I was confused. It turned out to be the garlic. This time it was after fish and chips so she was  treated for all the different oils. We had spaghetti last night with no problems whatsoever. It’s a bonus that Bridie really likes Theresa, they even read the Faraway Tree together!

I have made an exciting decision. I am in the process of enrolling at University next year to do a Bachelor of Counselling. I have thought about it on and off for a while but a cuppa out with a rather influential friend convinced me that it was the natural path to take. With running the autism support group I knew that it would be something I felt confident in doing and I would like to work with parents of special needs children. It’s a three year degree so I will do job placements during that time to confirm in my own mind  that is the path I want to take or to see what else is a possibility, there’s such a variety of counselling roles. I’m very excited, I haven’t studied for 30 years! I have to do a couple of short courses to qualify so I’m doing one on university assignment writing and one on how to study at university. My sister Deb and I went to the campus open day on Saturday, it’s a lovely modern campus, just off the freeway which means I can drop Beth off and go straight to school. It’s flexible in it’s learning styles so I could even do it all by correspondence if I chose. I like the idea of going to a campus though, I don’t think I’m disciplined enough to do it all from home and as I missed out on the uni life when I was younger I’ll enjoy it even more now. Now the biggest dilemma is what do uni students wear?!

I just had an interesting conversation. I wont say who exactly it was with as I don’t like to shoot the messenger as it were but I will tell you who we were referred to as it may help some of you. As my regular readers know I have been having problems with my youngest child Bridie and was referred from a reputable child psychologist to a government run ‘team approach’ based program. I spoke with them last week and then they had to take our case to ‘the board’. (Please feel free to use your fingers as you read this if it helps!) I then got a phone call while I was picking Beth up from school last week. I couldn’t hear very well but the crux of it was that it didn’t quite seem severe enough for us to see them so we would be referred to somewhere else. I was to go to the local doctor who would write me a referral for this program, and to make a double appointment. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. They would also send me a letter suggesting paediatricians in the area as they believe that would be beneficial.

I have been checking the mail hoping to get the letter stating where we would be going as I didn’t quite catch the name. The letter I got in the mail today simply gave me the names of three paediatricians. Two of them we’ve seen with Beth. I’ve never found them to be particularly helpful unless medications are required. It’s a bit like a maternal health visit, you know, weigh them, measure them, check their nose and ears. The only difference is they charge a small fortune for the privilege. Anyway, I called the number on there and asked about who it is they are referring us to. Here is a link. A.T.A.P.S. It stands for Access to Allied Psychological Therapy Services.

The lady on the phone tells me that it’s a psychological service that can be accessed by children up to 10 years of age. It’s up to 12 visits per year with an additional six in special circumstances. This is what the Mental Health Program used to offer, now I believe it’s 10 visits per year? This is a different thing altogether and cannot be used in conjunction with the Mental Health Program. I told her about my support group and asked if it could be accessed by children on the spectrum. The lady said not if they get autism funding. I asked what autism funding is, I have never heard of it! This stumped her, she seems quite reticent to share any information with me on this. I then asked if she meant FAHCSIA funding which is a funding available to children up to the age of seven. She said yes she thought so. I said that even though it is too late for my Beth I would just like to let my friends know who have younger children if it would help them. It seems that it would though I had to read between the lines a bit. GPs are often not aware of this program and are usually notified of it via the letter that my GP will be getting.

How bloody ridiculous! Here is a government funded program that can be used year after year for our kids. We get a health care card when we apply for our carers allowance for our children. This is beneficial when they have medication and stuff all else. It doesn’t help in paediatricians visits, it doesn’t give us discounts at speech therapy, occupational therapy, psychology, basically anything that will help with our children. It doesn’t give us cheaper school fees, it doesn’t help us with the endless travelling that we do to take our kids to appointments or being on the road for up to four hours a day to give them the education that they deserve. If Beth wasn’t on medication it would be useless. And here’s a program that’s designed for children with mental health problems that can help in some small way. Once again it’s something that I have stumbled upon that is not widely shared. So I hope some of you can use this. Every little bit helps.

I have been taking Bridie to see a naturopath. It’s only the second time she’s been, at least this time around. I know that Bridie isn’t my child with autism but as I originally started taking Beth to the naturopath for the same thing I thought I’d go through our treatments with you all on here as the differences achieved should be much the same. I had taken Beth four years ago now, after we had tried chellation. The clinic we go to does allergy elimination. It’s through kinesiology, it sounds as ridiculous as the guy slapping fish over the body on the health insurance ad shown a couple of years ago. (Sorry to those not in Australia.) It works with the persons arm standing out straight. When holding a vial of whatever you’re testing for in your other hand the practitioner tries to push your straight arm down. If it stays solid then you don’t have an allergy or intolerance, if it can be pushed down easily then there is a problem with it. I have done it myself so I know it’s true. We had done it with Beth and Bridie a few years ago but had been too intense, twice a week for both of them, so it was too expensive and we decided to stop until the house was built. Now that I’ve been having so many issues with Bridie I thought that I would give it a try, especially as the osteopath said that her neck problems stemmed from her gut.

As we had been a few years ago Teresa (the naturopath) retested all the ones Bridie had been treated for and all had held (stayed as not allergic.) Last time she treated for milk. This means she is tested for it, then the vial plus any relating to milk products were put in her socks, she does lots of breathing and back tapping, then she is cleared of it. You can’t have any products containing what you’ve been treated for for 24 hours. When we went this morning Bridie was tested again for milk and it was clear. I was excited because all the foods have now been cleared and we could go on to hormones and feelings. Teresa knew of our behavioural problems so went straight for the vials that would help this. There was an anxiety one, the pituitary gland, brocca speech and the pineal gland. All are to do with anxiety or speech problems. They were all extremely weak, especially the anxiety one. The good thing about these ones is there is no fasting for them. Teresa is lovely, Bridie really likes her. She also treated Bridie’s sore neck while we were there and then read the Faraway Tree to her while we were waiting for the time period between treatment and taking the vials out of the socks (20 minutes.)

I’m sure that many of you would be thinking how wacky the whole thing sounds but we’ve done some of this before and it worked. And Bridie’s a good one to try it on again.  If it works well on Bridie then I’ll take Beth back too. But Beth does have autism and who knows what behaviours are due to autism and what ones are due to allergies or intolerances? I can only help Beth with so much, I know that, she is who she is no matter what. But Bridie can be helped and as her moods are so extreme I will be able to tell the differences much easier than I ever could with Beth. It’s relatively inexpensive, it cost mr $60 this morning including fixing her neck and I can claim it back on Private Health. I’ll give anything a try if it’s non invasive. And it’s much easier than taking Bridie off everything then reintroducing it. I’ll let you know how we go.

I hate the thought of my children getting bullied. I hate the thought of them being bullies probably even more. I had a call from Beth’s teacher yesterday. She has been being mean to a boy in her class and it has accelerated and gotten out of control.

The boy in question I shall call Ben. Beth had come home one day last term and was talking about ‘the Jewish boy’ in her class. I asked who he was and she said he is her sworn enemy. Apparently he had been mean to her. I told her that perhaps he had been mean because she had called him ‘the Jewish boy’ and explained that it was racist to describe people like this. I spoke with her teacher who had told me that  Ben was mean to most of the kids in the class and Beth had been nothing but respectful to him. End of story. Or so I thought.

When Miss H. called me yesterday I had that awful sinking feeling. She told me that Beth is almost obsessed with her dislike for Ben and was now being really mean to him. She kept writing “Ben loves Erin” on things like his poster that was hanging up or on his work. She had crossed his face out on a school photo of all the children. Basically she was being a bitch to him. After school Beth was to go into the reflection room in the office for five minutes while Miss H. and I discussed this. It was only for five minutes as Miss H. was aware that I had a half hour drive to pick up Bill and Bridie.

Beth looked very sheepish when she went into the reflection room. She hadn’t been happy when Miss H. had said she was going to call me, knowing that it would mean an ipad ban. She kept looking through the window at us talking. Miss H. had asked how many times Ben had been mean to Beth and she replied ‘once’. She was then asked how many times she had been mean to Ben and she replied ‘five’. She was told that it wasn’t really fair and that she was being really mean.

Ben is a very loud boy, Beth seems to think he’s really popular simply because he’s loud. Miss H. told me that Beth used to sit by herself at a table that Ben sometimes sits at. Another girl who is very social sat at this table, then some of her friends joined her and they tried to muscle Beth out. Miss H. obviously put a stop to that, telling them that Beth had been there first. She said that sometimes they laugh at Beth at her expense, not with her. But she did say that she had seen Beth being more social this week than at any time during the last one and a half years. Which is of course a good thing. She had put a stop to the teasing. Beth apparently thinks that as the popular girls are on her table that this makes her really popular. In fact when she talks of Ben being popular she says things like how she can’t understand why he would be popular, after all she’s the most popular girl in the school! I do love her self confidence, even if it is grossly overexaggerated.

Apparently Beth also asked if somebody was going to pull their pants down and expose themselves to her. For that one I told her that she is now banned from watching any grown up shows such as Family Guy, Cleveland and the Office. I had given her a warning last year when she had sworn and said something inappropriate. They are very grown up and quite rude at times, however I thought that she is 14, other 14 year olds watch them, I wanted to see the older side of her. Clearly that’s not ok as she brings that side of it to school. I said we’d revisit this when she’s 15 but no promises. I don’t think she really wanted to see anything of the person she asked this too, I think she just thought it was funny.

I said to the Miss H. that I found it so difficult, I had thought that Beth going to a special school would mean she would find other kids who are more equal to her than mainstream neuro typical kids. I must admit I did have a little cry as I spoke, I find it so hard to talk about at times. I felt like she was still at the bottom of the pack. Miss H. told me that she’s not at all. Socially she does like to keep to herself and she’s not that interested in making friends but she’s not at the bottom by far. And intelligence wise she’s right up the top. I said that I’d rather have a dumb kid with friends than a really smart one with no friends. She doesn’t want to go to camp but apparently it’s open to the whole middle school so Miss H. said not to worry, she said it wouldn’t be a bonding experience like it would if it were just her class. There will be a sleepover of just their class and she said it would be good for Beth to do that one.

I am also going to organise going to the movies with some of the other mums and kids from school in the holidays which start at the end of next week. Beth seemed quite keen on that. Beth was banned from her ipad last night and this morning and wrote a card out to Ben with a chuppa chup to say sorry. And of course she is banned from all the tv shows. Miss H. showed me the work she did yesterday, she had hearts all over it. When she was asked why Beth said she was showing how nice she could be and how loving, that Miss H. didn’t need to call me after all! She also told me that she had done really good work on her animal assignment so that meant that it made up for her being bad earlier. She knew she had done wrong, I told her she had been a bully and that I was ashamed of her. Hopefully she’s learned her lesson.

It’s nearly the end of term 2 here in Australia and the school holidays can’t come soon enough. We’ve had a dreadful few weeks, I had Beth home for a whole week the week before last. She really just had a cold but she doesn’t blow her nose and is known for wiping it on the nearest sleeve, even if it isn’t hers! She was also coughing a lot and as she doesn’t cover her mouth I thought they’d appreciate me keeping her home. I hadn’t been well either so I did like the fact that I didn’t have to drive two hours a day to Beth’s school. It was nice just taking the other kids up to their primary school, I didn’t realise how easy it was until I had so much further to drive.

Once again my big challenge lately has been my Bridie and her anxiety. It’s hit the roof lately and I’ve felt like I’ve been mentally battered and bruised. With not feeling well either I truly believe I was close to a nervous breakdown. We’ve had lots of school refusal with me dragging her out the door kicking and screaming. She has been getting a lift to school with a friend which has been very handy but I felt awful that I was leaving this feral child on the doorstep to be picked up. I’d call my mother in law who lives next door and she’d come outside to keep an eye on her in case she ran off. I called Bridie’s school principal and she suggested a local psychologist, one who has been recommended by several friends as well. Now my regular readers will know that we’ve been to two psychologists in the past with Bridie. One several years ago, one just last year. Bridie of course would be delightful for them, almost flirty in her charm. She knew the right things to say, she knew she was doing the wrong thing. I even had her informally assessed for aspergers, not wanting to miss anything. Because she’s not like Beth at all I thought that perhaps I was missing something as autism and aspergers can be very different. But no, she ‘just’ has high anxiety, something that in my belief can be as debilitating as aspergers.

The first time we went to see Jenny* (not her real name) Bridie was charming. They played nicely together and she was in there for so long Jenny didn’t get a chance to tell me how they went. At the end however Jenny asked Bridie why she was in casual clothes. I wasn’t sending her to school for the rest of the day, I had thought it would be nice for her and I to spend the day together. Jenny told Bridie that that wasn’t ok with her, that she would have to go to school after the following visit. Well I paid for that for the whole week. Bridie begged me and begged me not to send her. She said she would rather not go at all and not go to school than go to school late. On Monday last week we had our next session. I dressed Bridie ready for school and in we went. Bridie wouldn’t talk to Jenny this time. I left the room as often Bridies selective mutism is better when I’m not around. I heard banging for most of the session, when I went back in Bridie was still sitting with a scowl on her face staring at Jenny and there were blocks everywhere. Yes they had been playing with them but Jenny later told me she thinks that if one had gone flying close to her head Bridie wouldn’t have minded. Jenny told me that Bridie had let her know through writing that she wasn’t happy because Jenny had told her she had to go to school. We left and in the end I didn’t take Bridie to school, she had gotten into such a state that I just couldn’t.

Bridie has been talking about moving to the school three doors up from us. I went to look at it on Thursday, really more because when Bill starts high school (which is next to the primary school) I might put Bridie in to that primary school as she will find it difficult transitioning to high school when she doesn’t know anybody else. At least then she’d be going up with kids she knows. Bridie had such a meltdown that morning that as I walked down to the car she threw her shoes, bag and jacket at me as she screamed. I called her principal after the visit to the other school and told her about the meltdown, also to do the right thing and tell her about the school visit. She called Bridie in to chat with her and got that Bridie just wants to be home with me, that if she’s at the local school she’ll be closer to me. She loves her teacher and her class but she wants me. We have two friends who now home school their kids and that’s what she wants too. I then called the psychologist Jenny and asked her opinion. She told me that she hadn’t seen a child hold her rage for that long before, she was determined hold on to her anger. She also said she hadn’t seen a child present with selective mutism the way Bridie does, she’s not shy and hesistant to talk, she either does or she doesn’t – exactly like Beth had been. She said she would refer her to a team based psychology approach through one of the hospitals. I can’t believe how excited I was that Bridie had ‘broken’ a well respected psychologist! I was just so happy that somebody else had seen it, how I wasn’t going to be sent home with the ‘not sure what to do’ answer. How it wasn’t our parenting and how I wouldn’t be seen to be just giving in to her. I was feeling so paranoid, I was worried that people would see that I have one child on the spectrum, that I was trying to get a diagnosis for another one, that I would be seen as ‘one of THOSE parents!’ Thank God!

Now it’s a waiting game. I took her to school this morning. I organised with our principal to take Bridie early, she wouldn’t go in to before school care but she was happy to sit in reception and read her book. She just wants me to go back to how it was, every morning dropping them off, taking her into the classroom, settling her in. I don’t want it to be all about Beth and her school but sometimes that’s life and I can’t get them all to school at the same time. I’m so grateful that I am able to do this Who knows how long the good mood will last. All I can do is take it one day at a time. She had a massive tantrum on Saturday about a playdate not being extended to a sleepover which I of course stood my ground over. It’s not going to be easy but at least now I know we’re in the system, that it’s finally been noticed.

It’s been a fairly emotional few weeks in our house. Once again it’s my youngest Bridie who has been the challenging one, she has such high anxiety that anything that’s over and above her usual routine turns her in to a screaming banshee. We’ve gone so far as to have school refusal. The naplan was on a couple of weeks ago and she was so stressed about it that I ended up pulling her out of it after speaking with her principal. It’s hard though, I hate giving in to her demands but the difference in her was amazing (for a couple of days at least) so it clearly was playing on her mind a lot. We’ve started seeing a psychologist who specialises in adolescents with anxiety. I had her assessed a couple of years ago for aspergers and we know it’s not that. There’s such a fine line between aspergers and anxiety though isn’t there? Throw in perfectionism and obsessive compulsive disorder and life is like living in a war zone. The psychologist – Bernadette – met her on Monday at my meet and greet session. Bridie wasn’t meant to meet her until next Monday but a combination of me feeling like crap with a shocking cold and Bridie refusing to go to school meant that I wasn’t up for a battle so I took her with me, having her out in reception for a big chunk of the time. I’ll let you know how we go.

Beth of course has seen this happening and seen that I am sick and is trying to capitalize on it. She wants to be sick too so she can have some time off. On Tuesday when I was getting Bridie out of bed to pull her out the door looking very unkempt (not a good thing because her hair is a huge anxiety but by then I didn’t care) Beth was in the background calling out “When will I have a day off school Mum?” I had lost my voice by this point and was trying to yell at Bridie to get her out of bed but nobody could hear me when I was trying to tell Beth to stop, just stop it! So there she is in the background, oblivious to my struggle saying things like “Yes Beth, you can have tomorrow off.” Or “OK here’s the deal, you can go to school today and then you can have the rest of the week off.” I stormed in and said in my almost non existent voice “Here’s the deal, shut up about having a day off or you don’t get your ipad for the rest of the day.” My anger wasn’t taken seriously of course as Beth told me that I sounded like Marge Simpson! Honestly, I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown yesterday. As I said goodbye to Beth at school I told her that I wouldn’t kiss her goodbye as I didn’t want her to get sick. Well that was stupid of me. Of course she had a wee carry on saying that she wanted me to kiss her, so I kissed the top of her head. She’s not stupid, she wants to get sick so she can stay at home!

I’ve been giving Beth a little independance at school lately, I’m not walking her in in the mornings, she goes in, signs herself in and then goes out and through the gate, all by herself. It’s been baby steps, first we would go in together, I’d show her how to sign in, then I’d supervise her, now she does it herself. I sign her out. Which means I get to see what she’s written. She’s meant to put the date, time and her name, I then sign her out at the end of the day with my name and the time. There is a section which is the reason you are signing them out if they are going early. Half the time if I look across she’s written an earlier time such as 1.30 then in the reason column she’s written something like ‘appointment’!

Yesterday the kids at Beth’s school got word that a child from Beth’s year who had been very sick for some time had died. I found out because there was a parent picking up a child who usually goes on the bus. She had been called and told that her daughter was distressed so she chose to pick her up. I hadn’t heard of the girl and I don’t think Beth knew her particularly well. It’s interesting the way their minds work though. Beth came out of school with a notice which I didn’t realise at the time was about the child dying. But the way she did it was her way of cheering me up I think. She said to me “Mum, I’ve got good news and bad news.” I straight away thought she’d gotten into trouble and she was buttering me up. (I guess I was thinking of my other kids, that’s how I think they would approach it.) She didn’t give me the choice but said “OK, I’ll give you the good news first. I was really, really, really, really good at school today. The bad news – heres a notice about a girl who died today”. I said that I had known she had died and how it was very sad and she thought about it and agreed but I don’t think it really affected her that much. If it changed anything in her immediate day then it might have made a difference. I found it interesting that in her mind it wouldn’t bother me so much if I was so caught up in being happy at her clearly excellent behaviour. I wonder what she was really thinking – Mum’ll get over it quickly because I’ve told her how good I’ve been, or I’ll tell Mum something good so it balances out the bad news, I just have no idea. The main thing for me is that she’s ok about it all.

I can’t believe that it’s already May. The year is going by so quickly. We’ve been doing our usual things so there hasn’t been much to report on. I have been trying to get my book out to as many people as I can but time gets away from me. The days seem to be full of nothing much if you know what I mean? My life seems to be driving, shopping, driving, cleaning (unfortunately not that much), ferrying kids around. I’m looking for a part time job, I’m not sure where I’ll fit it in though!

Beth has been doing swimming for the last week. It’s Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays for three weeks. She loves swimming and she loves to have me stay and watch her swim. This means that I often don’t get home ’til 12 as swimming finishes at 11am, I hang around to take Beth’s wet clothes home with me. I stayed last Monday and watched the whole lesson. I drop Beth off at the pool which means I have a little more time in the mornings as they don’t start until 9.30am. I’ve been dropping Bill and Bridie at school and heading straight for the gym. I get Beth changed, then, while the younger kids in the middle school have their lesson, Beth’s group has a play. Then they swap over. I stuffed up on Tuesday though. Bridie has a new kitten – Harmony – and I’d promised I would take her in for show and tell to Bridie’s school. We were told 11.30am was a good time. I decided that I’d watch Beth’s lesson until 10.45, head home, pick up Harmony and get her up to school by 11.30. I had told Beth that I wasn’t planning on staying, then she’d seen that I had stayed after all. Before her lesson I had told her that I wasn’t going to be there for the whole lesson but apparently she cracked it and was nearly crying asking where I was. My friend Sue was there watching her son so she calmed Beth down. I’m not sure why Beth does this, she had been warned that I wasn’t staying but I guess that because I changed the rules by staying for a little while she thought I’d stay for the whole time. I stayed on Thursday then again on Monday as I had planned to go out with Sue to lunch before we have our school coffee afternoon. Today I decided not to stay. Sue messaged me to say that Beth had asked where I was. When Sue told her Beth said that she already knew the answer. Cheeky bugger, she must think if Sue is there then I would be, after all, what else would Sue be there for!

Other than swimming things have been cruising along. Beth’s latest passion on the  ipad seems to be operations and dental work. She’s downloaded games that are very graphic and revolting. She of course loves them. I glanced over while driving at one which was the shape of an eye. I asked her if it was an eye operation and she said to me in a ‘der mum’ voice ‘no mum, it’s an ischium, part of the hip!’ I’m so thick at times! She also does dental games but they’re almost not like games, they’re like a how to guide on dental work. If only it’s something that she could really  do, she’s got such a fascinating mind that girl. Maybe making machines/computers to do the operations?

Other than Beth’s party the rest of the holidays were fairly quiet. We had our usual lovely catchup with Catriona and Jose. We met them when Beth and Jose were doing horseriding with riding for the disabled. Cat then joined the HAGS group (happy autism group support) and we’ve been friends ever since. We sometimes go down to their holiday house with them in Inverloch too. Bec always comes along to our lunches too, all the kids nick off and do their own thing and all the mums sit and chat and eat. Always a good afternoon!

We’re back in the routine of school now as the kids went back on Monday. Monday was a bit of a disaster of a morning, I couldn’t find Beth’s shoes until we were just walking out the door, she had her boots on until then! So it was a mad panic trying to find them. I was a bit concerned though relieved that I had heard Beth’s muttering to herself the night before. This is how it went. “I have three options. Number one; I can say “That’s what she said” as many times as I want, number two; I can go to school and have a good time, number three; I can get kicked out!” Hmmm glad I heard it. So I came back with “Number one; you can say “that’s what she said” when you’re at home alone in your room as many times as you like, number two; you will go to school and enjoy yourself, number three; if you go to school and get kicked out you will never again be allowed to play on your ipad or the computer or any internet for the rest of your life. Understand?” The response, a groan then “Understand.”

I’ll leave you with another Beth funny. We stopped at the bakery last night on the way home to buy some jam tarts. When I got back Beth was calling out the window at a crow who was sitting on a rubbish bin. She told me his name was Evan. When I asked why she had called him Evan her response was “Because that’s his name!” Well ok then, makes sense now!

Beth had her birthday outing on Sunday. It seems to have become a tradition that we take her two besties from Primary School – Jessica and Erin – to the movies and Hogs Breath. We’re lucky because her birthday always falls near the school holidays so there’s always new movies to see. We’re also lucky that the girls who are at mainstream highschools and are not on the spectrum still want to come and spend Beth’s birthday with her. They’re both such lovely girls and have always been wonderful with Beth. I think that they actually enjoy seeing Beth, being carefree in a way that highschool doesn’t seem to allow. Beth is still so childlike in so many ways so it’s not about if you’re cool or skinny or about what boys you like, it’s about enjoying each others company and having fun.

Erin came armed with goodies, she likes to buy heaps of presents. Beth got some rings, an anklet, a bracelet, a gift card, a necklace and a jewellery tree to hang it all up in. She had asked me what Beth liked and I said she liked blue so lots of them were on blue string or beads and her necklace had a B on it. She obviously spent a lot of time looking. Jess gave her $15 which she got all excited about, we bought a Kung Fu Panda 2 dvd that afternoon with it. They got here at about 9.30am and we all set off to Knox. We went to see The Croods. It was a great movie, we saw it in 2D instead of 3D, a shame really as I could see how good it would have been in 3D. We then went and had the girls photos taken in one of those booths. I will scan and put them on here eventually. Of course Beth was front and centre.

Hogs Breath was funny, Beth started on her ‘welcome to Hogs Breath’ to people as they walked past. We realised that she wanted a job there because she fancied the waiter there from Bill’s birthday. Beth decided that she’d ask lots of questions of the girls. So she’d say “who would you go out with, Justin Bieber or Brad Pitt” and heaps of different ones like that. “Who would you be friends with, Lady Gaga or Angelina Jolie?” Then then played truth or dare which was mainly truth and she had heaps of good ones that most people wouldn’t think of. It was really good fun and I think the girls enjoyed it too. When we got home they all sat and watched a dvd before I drove them home. Everybody enjoyed themselves and Erin said she’d love to catch up more often. I told Beth that we might do it every holidays if the girls are interested.