A few rough weeks

So some very sad news. Only a few months after Beth’s Aunty Kathryn passing away we have now lost Beth’s beloved Grandma, Bev.

Bev has been a pillar of strength to our family. When we got Beth diagnosed Bev and John moved to the area to help out with her. I was pregnant with Bill at the time and I remember going to look at houses with them, so excited that they were going to be near! They had Beth for me one day a week, then Bill when Beth started school, and finally Bridie. Bev came to many appointments with me with Beth, as you know, there are lots of specialist appointments, in the early years especially. She came with me when I chose the little primary school we went to, also when we went to the special school that we chose for high school.

Eventually they bought the house that she lived in until she passed, and we built our house next door. When the kids were younger they had the trampoline and various other equipment there. We had lunch there most Sundays and loved being a big extended family. In the later years we had the honour of looking after them both, Bev had dementia but still remained at home with us. With the help of carers we were just about to start looking for alternatives and she passed. I’m so glad that she could be at home until nearly the end.

Our kids knew it was coming. Really, the Grandma that they knew so well had been gone for a few years. But it still hit hard. Beth has been having a few meltdowns and one really bad one in particular had me frustrated and teary too. Right in the middle of it she cried out “I miss Grandma!” and my heart broke again. Poor love, it hadn’t necessarily shown that she was that upset but it had come out in other ways.

We had the service last week and it was lovely. The nice thing is that they ended up being able to have the gravesite next to their daughter Kathryn. John (my father in law) was pleased. Beth, Bridie and I didn’t go to the burial and stopped in at the coffee shop to wait. I was a tad disturbed that there were loyalty cards for coffee! I assume they were for the staff! Beth loves it there because they have a giant swing so she went on that for a while.

On the weekend we were in the spa talking about Grandma. We were talking about who is in heaven and how they’d all be together. I said that I believed that there is no sickness wherever she is, that Grandma would be at her healthiest age and wouldn’t have dementia any more. I said she’d now be with Kathryn, Grancha, Nanny and Uncle Richard (my parents and brother) and her parents. Beth added in ‘and Robyn Williams and Norm McDonald!’ I said I didn’t know if they’d be hanging around with our people, but, maybe!





































About Sarah

Mother of an autistic child wanting to write about my personal experiences
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