I haven’t done much this week, preferring to lie low. I think I’m saving up my energy reserves for the school holidays. Emotionally it’s been a tough week. As you know Monday was the forum with the politicians in regards to the Education Department. It really brings home to me how inadequate the school system is as far as special needs kids are concerned. I’m happy to feel like maybe (just maybe) I’m making a difference somehow by taking a stand and speaking about my personal situation. Still, it’s so raw and so confrontational that it often drains me. It’s been such a lovely experience on the most part during Beth’s primary school years. We’re in a supportive school environment and she’s flourished in many ways, whether it is through her peer group at school or the different treatments and therapies that we go to. Either way, she’s done so much better than I ever could have anticipated. Now’s the scary part. High school is only another year and a bit away, it’s come about far too quickly. I’ve been dreading it happening for so long, been looking at high schools for nearly 3 years. All I can do is prepare her asÂ much asÂ I can and hope for the best. I need to expect more of Beth and expect more of the other children that I’m already thinking of as horrible teenagers. I guess through bad experiences at my own high school I expect the worst of other kids. We’ve been pretty lucky with bullying with Beth, because she doesn’t react she’s no fun to pick on, hopefully that will be the case in high school too. We can only wait and see.
I’m also very over Bridie’s attitude at the moment, I’m constantly being abused by her for whatever thing I’ve supposedly done wrong. I’m looking forward to taking her to the allergist to see if there’s an underlying problem. I hope to God there is, otherwise what the hell do I do?!
School has been very emotional in the last few weeks. A gorgeous little girl in grade 1 has been diagnosed with liver and lung cancer. Even as I write I feel the tears welling, it’s incomprehensible what her poor parents are going through. Our school has an amazing little community with parents raising money and organising food to ease the lives of the family. It’s hit so hard though, being such a small school, everybody is effected in some way. My kids are constantly asking about Mikayla and about her sickness and we’ve looked at photos of her with her head shaved, it’s just so hard for kids to understand. I’d love it if everybody could say a prayer to whoever their god is to bless Mikayla and her family at this dreadful time. No matter what issues we may have with our children, how hard they may be, they’re still here and ours and I’m sure everybody would agree with me here, we’d die for them if we had to.
Beth had a bit of a problem at school this week. I was doing a reading assessment with Bridie when the principal came up to me to talk about Beth. She had pushed her aide and run screaming into the classroom afterwards. Beth and her sixth sense always seems to know when the bell is about to go, even if she doesn’t know what the time is. For some reason she’s got a bee in her bonnet about the morning bell and was running out of the classroom after it rang with her fingers in her ears. She would scream “I need to go to the toilet” and off she would go. Often I’d see her and go in after her and she’d be waiting until somebody came and got her or taking her sweet time just running water into the sink. Her teacher suggested that I bring her to class 10 minutes early and she could go into the teacher’s office and play on the computer. This worked well as she could do mathletics which is work anyway, then come into the classroom after the babble had died down. After a while we tried to wean her off of doing this but if she doesn’t play on the computer she still does the going to the toilet thing.
On Wednesday she had been playing mathletics but had decided to change it to another site, more than likely you tube if I know Beth. She loves to watch clips of movies or tv shows, even songs, and she hates it when we try to turn it off before the particular clip is finished. Her aide had caught her out on this other site and Beth had pushed her out of the way and run into the classroom yelling something. She had instantly got a red card and had to write a letter to the aide and teacher apologizing. The principal wanted me to be aware as it meant no ‘fabulous Friday’ for Beth (extra play time). Beth brought a sheet home that I had to sign outlining the incident. I tried to talk to her about it but she really just repeated what I said. I never would have heard about it if it had been up to her. As today is Friday it will hit home what she did but I think it went out of her head as quickly as it happened. I know she wouldn’t have meant to hurt anybody but I hate it when she does things like this. She’s not violent in any way but she is strong and a push from Beth isn’t gentle. Hopefully she’s learnt her lesson.
Only an hour to go until school holidays begin. I’m not sure how often I’ll be on here during the 2 weeks of joyful family bonding time but I’ll write again soon. Sorry I’ve been on a bit of a downer lately, hopefully they’ll be something good to share soon!