I feel as though all I’ve been writing lately is doom and gloom. I wanted to apologize for that in a way, I know my regular readers will understand my frustrations and depression but I don’t want it all to be negative. I’d like to reiterate the positive things in our situation.
Firstly my daughter is basically just ace! She’s an amazing girl, she’s funny and she’s beautiful and she’s smart and I’m so proud of her. I wish people could know her like I do and I know that the people who do know her get great pleasure in her company as she can be entertaining and loving and lots of fun to be with.
I’d like to also mention the support that we get. I can’t say enough about my inlaws but as they read this I don’t want them to get a big head! Suffice to say that they’ve been there every step of the way and couldn’t have been more supportive if they tried. I love that we’re really an extended family unit and spend most weekends and occasional holidays together. In fact our whole family has been incredibly supportive of us and I know would drop anything if required to help out.
I’d also like to talk about our Primary School. I can’t think of a better place to have sent Beth in her junior schooling. I know I’ve said that if given the opportunity I would have transferred Beth to special school in grade 4 or 5 but really, if we were going to go anywhere mainstream it would have been right where we are. They’ve been amazing over the years and I think the school will be a bit quieter (in fact I know!) and a bit emptier without my Bethie Boo there. Despite the difficulties that Beth has been having recently they’ve gone above and beyond their duties and are trying their very best to make Beth’s last months there positive ones. The other kids in the class have on the whole been fantastic with her. Because our school caters to many kids with differences the so called normal children take a lot of things in their stride. It’s been such a positive experience having Beth there, not just for us but I believe for the rest of the students and staff.
The report that I mentioned (and I still choke up thinking about it) was a necessary one to get our funding. I was warned that they would make Beth out to sound horrific as that what was needed. I think the hardest thing I found was that even though they made Beth so bad they were also true. They were harsh truths and so awful to read on paper but that’s what had to be done. I know school found it difficult and most likely would have shielded me from them if they could,Sadly it was something I had to read. Thank goodness reports like this only have to be done at the beginning of primary and high school.
My kids in particular have been amazing too. Bridie is still a bit too young to understand but Bill is so protective of Beth. He’s patient with her and in turn this has made him more tolerant with other kids on the spectrum. He’s a sensitive boy so I’m hoping that he wont be like me and take Beth’s problems to heart. Both he and Bridie will play well with Beth and include her when asked in their games.
Lastly I’d like to mention my wonderful friends. I think we’ve been very lucky on this count as I’ve heard stories about people losing friends over their child having autism. We haven’t had that happen at all, or if we had they mustn’t have been that good a friend in the first place. The great thing is that I have made some wonderful friends due to Beth’s autism too. It’s amazing how quickly you bond when you have similar issues with your kids. Of course not all of my friends are to do with autism, just as it’s not all Beth is it’s not all I am either. I think that the older you get the more choosy you become with your friends and I truly believe my friends have got me though the tough times. With the friend who do have kids on the spectrumÂ we’ll oftenÂ end up in tears of laughter due to something or other that our kids have done. How politically incorrect! I believe though thatÂ if you don’t laugh you’ll cry and I thank God for those who remind me of this every day.
So on that note I’ll go. I’ve had gastro the last few days so I’m feeling like crap. I wonder how much of it is emotional also? I just want this year over but we’ve just got to wait it out and see where time takes us. Hard as it is I know that Beth will be in a good place next year. Definately a special school setting, just not sure of which one yet. She’ll be safe and hopefully happy and I can relax for another 6 years! Thanks for reading! xx