Autistic Children Blog

I’ve had a day of mixed emotions today. Friday is my favourite day of the week as I have art class with a group of friends in the morning. This morning though I had a meeting after assembly with our principal and Beth’s aide which I was dreading and had me in tears, even before I got in there.

Last night our principal phoned me after school. Beth had been at Sensational Kids so had had the day off and her aide had been organising things in the classroom to make Beth’s time there a bit easier on her. The aide had been away with a broken ankle for some weeks and when she came back she had observed Beth in a different light. Sort of when people tell you how tall your child has gotten though you haven’t necessarily noticed yourself. The aide had had a talk with our principal and with Beth’s teacher and said that she thinks that Beth has got severe depression. The awful thing was that as soon as our principal said it to me I saw it too.

Ever since Beth got her period her whole mood has changed. She’s gone from being a happy go lucky girl to a moody girl, not wanting to do anything or talk about anything. We put her on the pill to help her outbursts at school and for a while thought that this had perhaps helped. In a way it did as it made her aware of when her period was due and made it not as painful as it was when she first got it. It never really seemed to help with her behaviour at school however which was spiralling out of control.

Beth’s aide said that it’s quite common in teens with autism to get depression but it’s often not picked up because it’s put down to their autistic behaviours and adolescence. She said that Beth often appears lost and sad, two words that break my heart. Being a sufferer of depression myself it’s gut wrenching to think that she’s felt like this for the last year and I hadn’t picked up on it. They even told me that she’s lost her appetite at school and when thinking about it I realised that there are times when she doesn’t want to eat at home either.

The positive thing it that if it is depression then at least we can do something about it. Beth is on anti anxiety medication which helped immediately with her selective mutism, allowing her to speak in public without any fears. There may be a combination of anti anxiety/anti depression medication that will help her. I just want her to be happy. The aide has changed things around in Beth’s Disney Room, making a craft station for her and having everything on hand that they may need. They’re doing a bit of a roster for all the other kids in the classroom to spend time with Beth as she’s not even liking being with her friends at the moment which is so unusual for her. Once again it shows how amazing our school is, they could easily say to themselves that it wont be their problem next year but they want to make Beth’s last year a positive and happy one.

I’ve got an appointment to take Beth to our paediatrician a week on Tuesday to talk about our options. I was lucky to get in so early, they had a cancellation. I hope there’s something we can do, I hate to think of my baby feeling like she is.

Beth has been reading a lot lately. I’m very proud of the fact that she has always loved being read to and reading to herself. We were visiting for a playdate to my friend Bec’s house and Bec commented how lovely it was that Beth was sitting and reading aloud to herself. When she got home she somehow got on to a list of children’s names on the computer. She sat for over half an hour going through each name in alphabetical order until she got to the end of the list. It reminded me of when Rainman read the phone book. Now I just need to teach her to read the cards at the casino and we’ll be set for life!

We’ve had a nice few days. We went out for dinner last night with my Dad and my niece and nephew. We go to a local pizza parlour which has paper on the tables. This is great for my kids as we take textas and they draw pictures until our food comes. Beth drew the bananas in pyjamas. She then drew two grapes dressed up and told me they were the grapes in pyjamas. She even wrote G1 and G2 on them! Bill joined in and commented that as the Bananas in Pyjamas were boys the grapes must be girls as they start with a B and a G. Beth thought this was wonderful. When we left Beth did one of her loud and gruff BYE BYE’s. It was far too loud and I told her so, poor Robert who runs the pizza shop looked quite shocked. I told Beth that it wasn’t appropriate and she told me that it was embarassing. I told her that yes it was so could she please not do it so loud. I don’t mind the way she says it, just not the volume that she does it.

We had Sensational Kids today, just with Rod. We had to change our appointment for yesterday and we couldn’t get in to see the Occupational Therapist too. Beth wanted to read a book so Rod (our speech therapist) went along with that. The whole basis for the way they do their therapy is to follow the lead of the child. Rod told Beth that she could read the book (Tarzan) as long as she answered questions at the end of each paragraph. At first Beth found it quite difficult, especially when the questions related to meanings behind the actions of the characters in the book. For example the male chimpanzee was angry at the Tarzan boy child for putting other chimpanzees in danger with making the elephants stampede. Beth couldn’t explain why he must have been angry. After a while she got the hang of it and even at the end of the session was quite disappointed that Rod couldn’t ask her any more questions. I was impressed with her reasoning about a meaning of a word during the session. Usually she asks the meaning if she doesn’t know but clearly thought she knew the meaning. The word was ‘encouraged.’ When Rod asked her what it meant she said it meant brave. I know that the word brave wouldn’t have fitted in the sentence but she was looking at the word courage and I thought it was clever of her to relate the two, even if wrong.

When we left I asked her to practice her quiet BYE BYE to the reception staff as the room was quite full. Instead of doing the funny voice she very politely said ‘Goodbye Rob, Goodbye Lorette,’ and waved nicely. It was so lovely to hear. I often think she’s got a lovely way about her when it comes to others. She compliments easily and always remembers peoples names and things they have told her about themselves. Not many kids would bother but Beth has a lovely approach to other people. That’s something that we can all have a bit more of.

We’ve had a busy week so far. Monday was pretty much par for the course, kids went back to school happy to be there. Tuesday was JRock day and Paul had the day off. I dropped Bill off at school at 7.15am! They had to be at Hisense Arena for a 9am rehearsal. I had given Beth the day off as I was to take her in later in the day. She wouldn’t have coped with an all day event. If it had been closer I would have taken her for the rehearsal and brought her home but I don’t drive in the city at the best of times! That’s what living in the hills does to you, you don’t want to drive in ‘the flats’ or the flatter areas! I had also given Bridie the day off as we had to leave at 3.30pm to get into the city and I was anticipating a latish night for her.

I’m doing weight watchers at present so we got the girls and Minka the Wonderdog in the car and hightailed it down to Birdslands Reserve for a walk. As I’m not a lover of exercise I enjoy my walks there as it’s flat and very pretty. It’s about 2km all around and takes up to an hour with kids in tow. Beth was terrific and insisted on taking Minka’s lead and being responsible for her. The rest of the day was fairly quiet.

We got to Hisense at 5pm. Wow, the security there is strict. They wouldn’t let us in even though Bethie had the JRock t shirt on. We didn’t have security passes and I couldn’t get hold of anybody on the phone as it was so noisy in there. Luckily I saw Beth’s friend Megan outside so called to her through the fence and she went and got Beth’s teacher who brought some passes down to us. My friend Lisa had come prepared as she tends to do and brought some ear muffs for Bethie if it got too loud which it did for a while. Bill looked exhausted after being there all day but happy, there was a real buzz of excitement in the air. I had brought Beth’s trusty DSi, something that the other kids weren’t allowed to have but necessary with Beth as she kept running around with me running after her to make sure she wasn’t in to everything! I am of course biased but my babies did look grand, Bill in his knights costume and Beth as the very regal queen.

The evening was a very sentimental one as we had a beautiful purple butterfly played by Beth’s friend Jessica. There was great significance with the butterfly as Mikayla, the little girl from school who passed away last year, loved purple and loved butterflies. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house when this was explained at the performance, it was such a special tribute. The show was of course fabulous and showed what an amazing school we have with a huge effort by kids, staff and parents alike. The kids at our school were so well behaved and I was so proud of them all. We left at a fairly decent hour, luckily we were second on so we ended up getting home at about 9.30pm.

When I got home I had received a message from Emerson to say that they are going to come out to our Primary School to assess Beth.  I am so excited about this as I’m sure you can imagine. Of course I know that we still wont know until term four but it’s good to see that they’re considering Beth. They’re coming next Wednesday so I’ll be counting down the days!

Beth and I had Sensational Kids on Wednesday. I reported to Rod that Beth had been going well in her ‘Disney’ room at school up until Tuesday when she had had a very defiant day, refusing to go to either class or in her Disney room. No idea still what the issue is. Once again it showed me what a supportive school we have, Beth’s aide had come out to speak with me and to reassure me that it wasn’t a problem and they would sort it out. She seemed to go back to school on Thursday morning ok, she dropped her bag in the classroom and was chatting with her friends when I left.

In our speech session on Wednesday Rod started off with a tug and war game to rev Beth’s engine up. We discussed Beth’s role in JRock so Rod decided that Beth could write and direct a play. Beth was in fine form this week and worked well with Rod and I. She called her play “Uni Uni Uni, look Buzz, an Alien.” Rod told her that the play couldn’t be from a movie or book so Beth combined characters such as Buzz and Woody from Toy Story, Hercules, Zhazhu (don’t know where from) and Timon from I think The Lion King. Buzz was in McDonalds and one by one the characters would see him and shout “Look Buzz, an alien” then laugh. Buzz wouldn’t think it was funny. Finally Hercules got the alien and showed it to Buzz, then they all laughed together. It was a nice play with a happy ending. Rod played the part of Buzz, I played Woody and one of the others and Beth played Hercules and the other character. She also had to direct us which she managed quite well with a bit of prompting. Rod said we would try it again in the next session with a more complex storyline. Here’s a picture of my in my Woody hat with the director. I look especially broad in my mumu but clearly the hat makes me look big.  I should have asked – Does my bum look big in this?

Beth’s session with the Occupational Therapist – Whiskas (not her real name) went well. They had made a collage for Beth’s friend Jessica for Beth to take to school to give her, it has all the things that Beth thinks Jessica likes.

Besides that we’ve had a fairly easy week. Beth’s having next Tuesday off because the JRock rehearsals are on for the big production at Hisense Arena in the city. As we did last time JRock was on, I will take Beth in later in the day. It’s a huge day for all the kids, I have to drop my Bill off at school at 7.15am! He’ll be so tired that night. It’ll be well worth it though, the kids have a ball and such a sense of achievement. We’ll get a dvd of the performance so will put a copy on here for you all to see.

We’ve not had much to report these last few days. Beth’s been good lately, she’s happy to go to school, loving going to JRock practice andhas been (touch wood) well which at this time of the year is a miracle. She’s had chronic asthma since she was very young, being hospitalised several times before being prescribed Singulair which is a preventative tablet. It’s worked a treat, she’s still had asthma pretty badly but hasn’t had to go back to hospital in about 3 years. Mind you she loved going to hospital. She loves being sick. She’s like one of those ladies from the olden days with her hand up at her forehead, asking for the smelling salts! Often when she gets sick she asks to go to the hospital. She does seem to be growing out of the asthma now as she doesn’t get it half as much as she used to. Thank goodness for that, I’ve always thought it’s not fair, her having asthma. Surely we’ve ticked a big box already having autism, she shouldn’t have any other issues!

Beth went back for her second filling on Saturday. Paul took her and we all met back at Bev and John’s for lunch. I assumed that Beth wouldn’t want any lunch to start with as the week before she couldn’t eat because her mouth was all numb from her first filling. But no, they had done it without the anasthetic this time. Beth had played up with having the needle in the mouth again and the dentist mustn’t have thought the filling would be painful, otherwise I’m sure she’s never had suggested it. What a brave girl, I need to be numbed just for a clean! I do worry however about future work that will be painful for Beth. Hopefully she will have forgotten by then.

I’ll leave you with one of Beth’s funnies. My God she makes me laugh, even when she’s being naughty. I noticed that two out of three of our very expensive bananas were missing. Beth has the habit of eating and eating fruit if it’s in eyeshot. I asked her if she’d eaten the bananas. She looked me in the eye and says “Yes Mum, I ate B1 and B2!” (For those not in Australia, we have a tv show here called Bananas in Pyjamas. The characters are called B1 and B2.) She’s just so quick with her comebacks!

Our school has been a hive of excitement lately as the years two to six are in J Rock this year. For those of you who don’t know J Rock is the junior school version of Rock Esteidford. This means a big production with a storyline and lots of dances. Beth was in it in 2008 so it’s been three years. We watched the dvd of it on Saturday and she still remembered all the dances!

This year I have both Beth and Bill in J Rock. Last night they had their dress rehearsal at a local high school. It was FANTASTIC! It makes me feel so lucky to be part of a small community. Our school really is one in a million but those of you who are regular readers would know that! This year Beth is playing the queen. As our principal puts it, she’s actually Queen Elizabeth. Last night I was backstage with Beth and we got her all dressed up with one of the helpers putting makeup on her. She looked fabulous. Her part is to come onto stage with the king and watch the maypole dancing. Then the king says “back to work” and him, Beth and the knights – one being ably played by my son Bill – all point at the dancers and leave the room. Beth held her hand out as can be seen in our blurry photos, and did the queeny wave. (Bill is on her left in the photos with the shield. In usual Beth tradition the close ups have her eyes closed!) Then the whole cast comes back on to the stage for the final number where they all do a dance together.

I was speaking with Bree this morning and she said that she has been watching the rehearsals as she had been making some of the costumes. She said that Beth was on the sidelines doing all the other kids dances too! I really hope that her high school has a big emphasis on drama and music cos that’s where she’s right at home!

We.ve had a pretty good week. Beth has been happy to go to school as she has her ‘Disney room’ set up for her so the fear of going into the classroom has been removed. I’d still love to know what’s going on there but I doubt even she knows as it’s been going on for a while now.

We had Sensational Kids on Wednesday and as usual Beth enjoyed herself. She was full of beans so when we did speech therapy with Rod he got her an exercise ball to bounce on so as to regulate herself. The aim for Wednesday’s session was to build on the emotional side of an experience. For example being able to express emotions verbally and to explore another persons feelings or opinions by asking why they feel a certain way. Beth knows the names of all the emotions and can act these out but can’t expand on why she says she is feeling an emotion. We played a game called Elefun which is an elephant whose trunk is plastic and sticks up with a fan blowing underneath it. The job is to put butterflies in under the trunk that blow up through the trunk, we then have to catch them with nets. It didn’t work very well and not many butterflies came out. When asked what Beth thought of the game she just said ‘good’ but didn’t expand what she thought was good about it. Rod said that he was disappointed in the game and I said that  I had been bored. Rod then asked me what I found boring about the game and I told him. This was to show Beth the too-ing and fro-ing of a conversation. Beth’s engagement is always better when there is something fun going on. Rod kept putting a ‘T’ on to the end of Elefun when he spoke. Beth would say ‘elefun’ and Rod would say the sound of a ‘T’ over and over again with Beth in fits of laughter. They also had fun playing Kerplunk but determined that the winner was the one who got the most marbles instead because they both got lots. Beth got in between Rod and I but of course insisted that she won anyway!

In occupational therapy Whiskas (not her real name) the O/T showed me that they had been working on Beth’s handwriting. We talked about Beth having crushes with Whiskas telling me that Beth was talking to her imaginary boyfriend – Taylor Lautner?, an actor from the Twilight movies I think. Not that she’s seen them but she’s seen pictures in a magazine which she kisses. I said that she hadn’t done that before (talking to him) but was told that it is fairly normal for Beth’s age. We talked about Emerson and I had a little cry when talking about what things are acceptable for other kids just don’t seem to be acceptable for Beth. It must be so confusing for Beth to see other kids with boyfriends and girlfriends yet to be told that it’s not ok for her to say she fancies somebody or worse still laughed at when she says she does. I’m looking forward to her being with others like her who think in a similar way.

I’ve had several Beth funnies this week so I’ll share. I’d say some of her friends from school and her have been making up words. She used the word twitterpated. When I asked what this meant Beth reeled off the explanation as she’s clearly rehearsed it. The funny thing was the way it had been interpreted until I explained it to her. She said it was when you were walking down the street and your business was being minded. I had to tell her that the expression was in fact ‘you’re minding your own business!’ She took it all in her stride and started again with the new way of saying it. It seems to be when you’re falling in love and your eyes meet and fireworks explode in your head. For some reason she thinks that your head falls off at the end though it may be that your head feels like it’s going to explode!

Another funny was when Beth walked in the door from school last night. Paul was home early so picked the kids up for me. Beth looked at me and said ‘the girl with a passion for fashion is home Mum!’ She’s a crackup!

Lastly the cheeky bugger was trying to get me to get her a drink last night. She came in to bed with me and I was falling asleep. Next thing I heard her voice, sounding like it was trying to be a ghost. She was saying “You have to get Beth a drink of water.” I asked her why she was saying it in a ghost’s voice and she told me that it was in fact my conscience speaking! I told her to get up and get her own bloody drink!

We.ve had a pretty good week. Beth has been happy to go to school as she has her ‘Disney room’ set up for her so the fear of going into the classroom has been removed. I’d still love to know what’s going on there but I doubt even she knows as it’s been going on for a while now.

We had Sensational Kids on Wednesday and as usual Beth enjoyed herself. She was full of beans so when we did speech therapy with Rod he got her an exercise ball to bounce on so as to regulate herself. The aim for Wednesday’s session was to build on the emotional side of an experience. For example being able to express emotions verbally and to explore another persons feelings or opinions by asking why they feel a certain way. Beth knows the names of all the emotions and can act these out but can’t expand on why she says she is feeling an emotion. We played a game called Elefun which is an elephant whose trunk is plastic and sticks up with a fan blowing underneath it. The job is to put butterflies in under the trunk that blow up through the trunk, we then have to catch them with nets. It didn’t work very well and not many butterflies came out. When asked what Beth thought of the game she just said ‘good’ but didn’t expand what she thought was good about it. Rod said that he was disappointed in the game and I said that  I had been bored. Rod then asked me what I found boring about the game and I told him. This was to show Beth the too-ing and fro-ing of a conversation. Beth’s engagement is always better when there is something fun going on. Rod kept putting a ‘T’ on to the end of Elefun when he spoke. Beth would say ‘elefun’ and Rod would say the sound of a ‘T’ over and over again with Beth in fits of laughter. They also had fun playing Kerplunk but determined that the winner was the one who got the most marbles instead because they both got lots. Beth got in between Rod and I but of course insisted that she won anyway!

In occupational therapy Whiskas (not her real name) the O/T showed me that they had been working on Beth’s handwriting. We talked about Beth having crushes with Whiskas telling me that Beth was talking to her imaginary boyfriend – Taylor Lautner?, an actor from the Twilight movies I think. Not that she’s seen them but she’s seen pictures in a magazine which she kisses. I said that she hadn’t done that before (talking to him) but was told that it is fairly normal for Beth’s age. We talked about Emerson and I had a little cry when talking about what things are acceptable for other kids just don’t seem to be acceptable for Beth. It must be so confusing for Beth to see other kids with boyfriends and girlfriends yet to be told that it’s not ok for her to say she fancies somebody or worse still laughed at when she says she does. I’m looking forward to her being with others like her who think in a similar way.

I’ve had several Beth funnies this week so I’ll share. I’d say some of her friends from school and her have been making up words. She used the word twitterpated. When I asked what this meant Beth reeled off the explanation as she’s clearly rehearsed it. The funny thing was the way it had been interpreted until I explained it to her. She said it was when you were walking down the street and your business was being minded. I had to tell her that the expression was in fact ‘you’re minding your own business!’ She took it all in her stride and started again with the new way of saying it. It seems to be when you’re falling in love and your eyes meet and fireworks explode in your head. For some reason she thinks that your head falls off at the end though it may be that your head feels like it’s going to explode!

Another funny was when Beth walked in the door from school last night. Paul was home early so picked the kids up for me. Beth looked at me and said ‘the girl with a passion for fashion is home Mum!’ She’s a crackup!

Lastly the cheeky bugger was trying to get me to get her a drink last night. She came in to bed with me and I was falling asleep. Next thing I heard her voice, sounding like it was trying to be a ghost. She was saying “You have to get Beth a drink of water.” I asked her why she was saying it in a ghost’s voice and she told me that it was in fact my conscience speaking! I told her to get up and get her own bloody drink!

We’ve spent the afternoon down at my Dad and his wife Helen’s house. They live down at Rye. As it was mine and my sister’s birthdays this week and Helen’s a few weeks before we went down there for a birthday lunch. Off we set this morning with Minka the Wonderdog, all the kids in good moods for a nice change. I was all set up for Beth, I went loaded with dvds and the trusty DSi, always good to entertain.

We had a lovely afternoon. As usual Helen put on a fabulous spread, the kids ate well and behaved themselves for the most part.Deb and Neil were there (my sister and her husband) as well as some family friends came down who we haven’t seen for over a year – Pat and David. It had been Pat’s birthday a few weeks ago too. They are like my aunt and uncle. David annd Dad are best friends and Pat and my Mum were best friends until she died when I was 13. They’re wonderful people and I couldn’t ask for a better aunt and uncle, they’ve always been there for me. It’s nice to see them with Beth, as we don’t see them often they are more likely to see any differences, good or bad.

The most obvious thing about Beth is how tall she’s gotten. She’s in size 12 ladies clothes and size 9 ladies shoes and she’s only 12! Lots of the time she was playing on her DSi but stopped to have a spa with Bill and Bridie. Our darling Minka decided to have a spa too by jumping in when we first got there! Beth kept trying to get her back in. They had an absolute ball in the spa, we didn’t even have to sit with them as we have done in the past. Bill and Bridie have a love hate relationship, they play so well together but fight well together if you know what I mean. When they’re in a good mood, especially when we’re out they are fabulous together. Today they played games in the spa that included Beth too and it’s lovely to watch the three of them interacting with each other. No games, no dvds, no computers, just three kids enjoying each other’s company.

When it was time to go I could hear Beth at the dinner table loudly saying “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, it was an accident,” and David laughing out loud. She’d gotten the salt grinder and probably (as I’d caught her doing it before) tried to grind it straight into her mouth. She’s good at covering her own arse by trying to make it look like she didn’t mean it!

We had a lovely day and it was great to catch up with everybody.

I’ll leave you with a little Beth funny. I’ve heard before how kids with autism don’t get sarcasm well and here is a prime example. Our upstairs toilet is my ensuite and ther kids go through my room to use it. While writing this Beth went charging in to the toilet and as she often does, forgot to shut the door. She plonked herself down so I called out “Thanks for sharing!” Beth’s response? “Your welcome!”

The kids went back to school on Monday. Beth was fine to get up because her picture was on Giggle and Hoot on ABC2 that morning and she was most excited to see it. She had drawn a picture of Hoot the owl and they made a big deal of it when they showed it. Beth went to school happy enough but when I picked her up I was told that she refused to go to the classroom all day. When I tried to get her back in the room to get her bag she was very forceful in stressing that she couldn’t go in there so I didn’t push it. I really have no idea what’s going on there.

Tuesday (my birthday) Beth came out of school and the first thing she said to me was that she went to her classroom so that was an improvement. Bethie gave me a lovely teapot that she had picked for me for my birthday, Bill got me a dvd and Brides gave me a nice jewellery box. We had a really nice family evening together.

Yesterday (Wednesday) was a great day for Beth. When I was at school to pick the kids up I saw the principal heading my way so I pretended to hide in the tree branches! It was however good news. She said that Beth had had the best day ever. They had made a little room between the grade 5 and 6 rooms into Beth’s room and called it the Disney Room. Beth did all of her work in there but was allowed to invite other kids in there to do their work too. She had worked really well all day, even when the other kids were there doing their own thing. The principal was rapt and so was I. I was so chuffed that she had come out to see me to tell me herself. She had been trying to call me but I had been at the dentist. I know of people who don’t even really know the principals of their schools as they deal with the vice principal. We don’t have a vice principal at our school yet we are always given the time to talk personally with our principal. I’m not the only person who appreciates how lucky we are to have found our school.

On the Wednesday I also took the reports that were done for Beth’s 6/7 review, to Emerson. As I had just been to the dentist I couldn’t talk well (which I explained) but it might have looked like I was under a lot of stress which hopefully worked in my favour! I saw Rod again briefly (the intakes officer) and explained that while I appreciate they can’t make a decision about enrollments until term four I truly believe that Beth needs to start transitioning during term three. He was busy doing his own 6/7 reviews but said to call me next week and he’ll have a word with the review committee and let me know. I was pleased at his response as it could have gone the other way with him being annoyed at me for pushing the point. I had explained that Beth is very anxious this year and out of everybody I would expect that he would understand this better than most. Fingers crossed!