Autistic Children Blog

First I’d like to share – how bloody gorgeous is my Beth? In fact how bloody gorgeous are all my kids?!

The first picture is of Beth at her Middle School Graduation. The second is of me and her and her dashing teacher. I just wanted to put that one in to show how hard it is for me to go to parent teacher interviews. The third one is of the family the next night for my Bill’s grade 6 graduation. Beth looked so pretty in her dress that she wanted to wear it again.  Bill got a fabbo award that night, very proud Mummy moment!

What an exhausting time of year! I’ve been laid up with a bad back for the last week and ended up in hospital twice through spasming but I seem to be on the mend now. I still haven’t finished Christmas yet but as most of my readers know, it’s been a difficult year, and my heart hasn’t quite been in it. I think the kids have done ok this year. Beth is getting Modern Family books and scripts which seems to be her new show of choice. She keeps telling me things that she wants such as a fancy car as she insists that she will be getting her licence. God help us, she can’t even cross the road without assistance so I’m not planning on that happening any time soon.

She’s been just lovely lately, being quite social in fact. Bridie had camp the week before last and we were there to greet the kids as they got off the bus. Beth was like Julie McCoy from the Love Boat. As each of the kids got off she said ‘did you have fun on camp?’ Most looked at her as if she was weird, some who knew her answered nicely. She said their names if she knew them, she did an excellent job in fact! Similarly at Bill’s graduation on Tuesday night she congratulated the kids and told them all how nice they looked.

She’s quite excited about next year and I’ve been told that she got into Media Studies which is what she wanted. Making movies and games, learning computers and ipads, it’s right up her alley. She already does movie reviews at home and apparently that’s part of it. I’m excited for the next step too.

It’s her last day at school today. I was going to give her the day off, I’m finding it hard to drive and can’t take my painkillers when I do, but Paul couldn’t take them this morning. It’s the class parties though and she’ll get her report so I took her anyway.

I’ll leave you with a Beth funny. Clearly I’ve been watching too many grown up shows. I quite like shows like The Midwives and Beth likes more gory ones such as Bones and Castle. We had eaten fish and chips one night and had gotten fish bites. The kids were saying what shape theirs were and most were letters. When it came to Beth’s turn she said hers looked like an umbilical cord! Then a few days later we were eating spaghetti bolognaise and Beth suggested that perhaps that’s what they use in murder shows to be the guts hanging out of people. With that and her obsession with beheading I don’t know what to think!

I was pleasantly surprised yesterday. I went to a performance at Beth’s school in the afternoon because she had a drum performance. It was a bit disappointing as she didn’t play the drums but hit a tambourine instead but that’s ok, she did it in time and was very pleased with herself. (and on a side note, I used to wake up with tambourine bruises on my legs from jumping up with the band at various pub gigs!)

While there I filled in the forms for next years subjects. I spoke with our middle school coordinator Deb and asked her advice. I know Beth wants her first option as Media Studies which is right up her alley. This incorporates various forms of print and visual media using information technology. Becoming aware of current news issues, layout and production of newspapers and magazines and the history and types of film, television and radio programs. Hell, I even want to do that subject!  She did some cooking on Wednesday when she went to Senior School and loved it, also doing horticulture which she enjoyed except for the getting wet part. Which, by the way, was because she was playing with the hose. When I suggested that perhaps she didn’t do that she stated that that’s what you’re meant to do with a hose! Horticulture involves using outdoor equipment (God help us) and they work in the gardens and the council gardens too, there isn’t much of a description of this on the form though sorry ! My dilemma was which cooking class to put her down for. I thought essential food studies which is teaching independence in the kitchen, preparing all sorts of dishes including presentation, menu planning, labelling and nutrition. Paul wanted her to do food and hospitality studies which includes safety and hygiene, knowledge and uses of ingredients and broadening their selection of food choices. Both good options. I think it would be wonderful for Beth to start being independent in the kitchen but Paul thought it might be a bit of a waste of time as it doesn’t lead to a job necessarily and the other one may. I figure she’s got three years, if she enjoys the essential one she could go on and do the other one. But as he is her father, I figured that he should have some say in the decision. I spoke to Deb about her opinion and she agreed with me though. She said Beth needs to enjoy her learning otherwise she just wont do it, something I’ve always known, and it would be good for her to learn the independent skills. And therein lies the old problem of – this is where we want her to be versus this is where realistically she is. While I love the idea of Beth in a working environment that she enjoys and knows what she’s doing, I’ll be more than happy if she can make her own breakfast or even cut up her own food. You can’t teach one without teaching the other first. Anyway, long story short, I got my way and put her down for essential skills!

The good surprise was the conversation I had afterwards. Deb was Beth’s teacher last year. When I went for my first parent teacher interview with her, she had said to me that she was really happy with Beth. The year before she had been watching Beth and had said to herself “I have no idea how I’m going to teach that girl.” Beth appears in her own world lots of the time, doing her own thing, digging in the garden every lunch and playtime. She leaps in the air and laughs at nothing in particular and flings herself around a lot. When Deb had Beth in her class though she had been so pleased at how clever Beth is and how funny she is and how much she can actually do. It seems that the senior school coordinator had a similar issue and said to Deb “What am I going to do with Beth next year?” She had responded with “Yes what are you going to do with Beth next year?” and had gone on to explain that she needed mental stimulation, that she takes a dictionary outside with her to read just for fun, that she’s highly intelligent and knows how to play the game. She has pegged Beth and it’s great. I’ve always said she plays people. I remember doing readers with her in class and one of her teachers being so proud because she knew all the words. I got her to read with me in front of the teacher. And. she. read. like. this. With no tone in her voice, and no enthusiasm. So I said ‘Stop being so silly and read properly like you do at home.’ So she read like this! She will get away with whatever she can and if it means playing dumb then ok, I can do that. Deb said Beth will walk past and people will talk and she’ll be in her own world. Deb will say “Beth I’ve spoken to you” and Beth will turn around and say “Oh sorry, good morning …….” She does it here too. And I do think a lot of it is her being in her world, she doesn’t ignore all the time. But she will make the least possible effort if it means she can. Way back in Irabina days (the early intervention program she did) I walked in one day and the teacher was holding Beth’s hand holding a crayon to draw. I asked what they were doing and they told me drawing a picture. They thought it was terrific. I’m sure these people think I’m such a cow but I just laughed at Beth and told her to stop being so lazy. She looked at me with one of her smirks and drew the picture herself. I think some people are scared of pushing, not knowing what reaction they will get. But don’t underestimate my girl, she’s got a lot more going on that she gets credit for. And that’s just how she likes it!

Beth had her second day at the senior school campus today. We went to an evening at her school last week to talk about her VCAL options, something that her school introduced last year. I can’t believe that she’s going into the equivalent of year 10 next year! It was very inspiring and for the first time I think, really gave me hope that she may be able to work for a living doing something that she enjoys and that she is good at. I’ve always had a fear that she’ll end up either at home or doing a job that she hates. And I know what she’s like. If she hates what she’s doing she just won’t do it. If packing shelves in a supermarket she’d be found in the magazine aisle reading or doing crosswords! She needs her mind to be entertained, and she’s smart, she needs stimulation. The subjects that appealed to us were media studies and cooking. Media studies would be the best bet but it’s whether or not she gets in, they all seem to want to do that one. It appeals to Beth’s love of computers and her love of movies. They do photography and gaming and lots of other things that Beth would be good at. I like the idea of cooking, they have an essential class which is home cooking, and a commercial cooking class which is the one Paul wants her to do. Surprisingly Beth chose horticulture as her second selection rather than cooking but after doing a session this afternoon she’s changed her mind. I think it’s as simple as the fact that she got wet when watering the garden! She was happy that she got to spend time with the chooks though. (Chickens.) Today she told me she also cooked a pasta bake which she loved so the flavour of the day (pun intended) is doing cooking!

Last week she had a taste of media studies which is still her first choice. Hopefully she’ll get in to that one but as she’s going into the junior year of senior school, they get  what’s left over from the older years. They can choose a different one each year though so they get a chance to do three different ones. I’m quite excited at the idea of her stepping up a bit and surprisingly she’s really looking forward to it.

We went shopping for Beth’s middle school graduation dress on Saturday. She really wanted to wear the one she wore to her grade 6 graduation but it was too tight. I’m quite pleased actually, because we have lots of photos of her in that one and now we can see her glammed up in another. I was a bit peeved, I’d done my research, looking for a semi formal maxi dress, and found a shop at Knox that stocked several. She needs a maxi dress for her lack of elegance when sitting. We got to the shop at 4.30pm and they didn’t have all of the range there. She tried on a couple but, as she’s so pale, the cream and beige ones looked dreadful. And the problem is with Beth is that she’ll see one and say ‘yes I want that one’ even if it looks terrible, because she just wants to stop and get out of there! We went to another couple of shops, finally deciding on a lovely long orange dress which is fairly summer casual. Once they put a gold belt on it it looked fabulous, as most clothes do on my gorgeous girl. I’ll have to rethink my wardrobe now, I’d also bought a long orange dress for the kids graduations (Bill graduates the night after) and I don’t want to clash! Clearly it’s the colour of the season.

I can’t believe how fast this year has gone. It’s been an odd year. The worst year in a long time, with Dad and my aunty both dying. Awful. And a great year for me personally with getting back to studying which I am loving. I am doing a video assignment and did a practice session with a good friend on Friday. I can really see myself as a counsellor. I am looking forward to the next stage of my life so much. Yet grief keeps coming up and rearing it’s ugly head. My Bill has taken it hardest out of the kids, we went to see a grief counsellor for him this morning. Hopefully he can give us some strategies for when it happens again. Beth is a funny one. She appears to not be terribly affected by Dad’s death yet sometimes will come out with questions. She asked me last night if I still missed him and when I said yes she said she misses him too. I wonder if she realises how final it is and if she expects to see him at Christmas…..

She’s quite looking forward to next year when she moves to the senior campus. I’m not as the parking is dreadful! Scary too, she’s half way through her high school years. God knows what will happen after that. I’m hoping that something will stand out, something that she loves doing that she can actually do for a job. I’m not expecting her to be in paid employment necessarily. Working for her pension would be fine, I’ll sort the rest. I saw a documentary in the UK about a business who employed 5 or 6 special needs adults to do data entry. They employed one person to oversea the group. I think that would be perfect. There are lots of physical jobs out there such as mowing lawns and garden maintenance for special needs teams. Beth would be dreadful at that. She’d have her period every day if she’s anything like me and physical exercise, and I know she is! I don’t know how many times she’s been in the sick bay on sports days! There are probably other places out there, and I’m sure they will increase as the demand grows. And if there’s not then I’ll just have to start something. I’ve gotten good at being proactive as far as Beth is concerned.

I’ll leave you with a Beth funny. We were lying in bed last night and Beth’s foot creeps over and touches my foot. I said “That’s my foot you’re touching.” Beth responds with “Oh, I thought it was a warm lizard!” Yes, that makes much more sense than my foot doesn’t it?!

I love it when Beth has a curriculum day, I really do. The only problem with them is that Beth enjoys being at home so much that she ALWAYS tries to say that she’s sick when it’s time to go back to school. Yesterday she had a curriculum day. I organised Bridie to have a trial at the local school as we are thinking of sending her there next year when Bill starts high school. Much as I love the school that they’ve all been to (10 years this year we’ve been going) my head tells me that it makes sense for Bridie to move. If nothing else it cuts down a lot of driving. It would also mean she would transition to high school with other kids that will go with her. Bill only has one other child in his class who is going to our high school and he’s devastated to be leaving his friends. Anyway, I organised a transition day for yesterday because I had Beth home anyway so didn’t have to organise a lift for her and could take Bridie up myself. Beth popped in to Grandma and Grandpas for a little while (who live next door for those readers who don’t know this) as it was pouring with rain, and I walked up with Bridie. Afterwards Beth and I spent the day at home, having a quick bakery break for donuts and apple cakes. She had a lovely day. Every once in a while I could hear a sniff and a little cough and I thought ‘terrific, here we go.’

This morning comes along and I went in to get Beth up. There she is rugged up in her doona (that’s a duvet for my overseas friends), sniffing away. Crying at me because I didn’t believe she was sick. “Why wont you believe me, you never believe me, I promise I’m not lying.” Maybe because last week she did the same thing when I was going to my friend Eloises. She desperately wanted to go with me, saying she was sick all the way to school. I even got a call from the middle school coordinator saying Beth was in sickbay and asked to call me. I said I would come if they really thought there was something wrong but that I didn’t think there was. Deb agreed with me. At the end of the day Beth even admitted she lied. It’s very hard though because she is very good at faking it. The only thing she hasn’t done is made herself vomit. She will put her hands around her neck so that her voice sounds hoarse, she will sit on the toilet telling me she has the runs. She will talk in that stupid voice that men get when they have man flu. Or a sore finger. And, as is always the way, she lost priveledges to the ipad for the morning and for pickup in the afternoon. She just doesn’t give up. Ever!

We went out for a family day a week and a half ago. I wont say where to or who it was with for privacy reasons but I will tell you we ran into a friend who Beth hasn’t seen for a couple of years. Last time we saw her was at her house and when we left the kids all wanted to know why she lived with another woman. They knew what homosexuality was so I explained this to them and all was well. Obviously Beth has held onto this in her mind. So we are walking along at this function and we see our friends and go to sit down at the table with them. And Beth sees this friend and points at her and says in a very loud voice “So, is it true that you’re a lesbian?!” Luckily my friend saw the funny side of it!

I’ll leave you with another Beth funny. Beth has decided that she will announce each and every movie that is on. Not just the ones she watches either. The other night she did one : “Good evening and welcome to Saturday night at the movies. For your viewing pleasure tonight will be the Stephen Spielberg movie Gremlins. Please sit down and make yourselves comfortable.” Another one she does (I’m not sure why as she does it all the time) is for Lethal Weapon. She’ll say the whole ‘Good evening’ spiel then say “tonight’s movie starring Mel Gibson and Danny Glover – Lethal Weapon.” I must get her on tape one time, she’s so funny!

We’re half way through the second week of the school holidays. I was just thinking about how it’s not been long enough but as I’ve just had to break up a fight between Bill and Bridie I’m revising that wish!

We’ve had a nice little break. I don’t have a car this week thanks to a pesky pole jumping in front of me in the carpark at gymnastics. Paul had to put it in for repair and they have it for 5 days. This meant that we had to get all our activities in last week so it’s lovely to have a nice enforced stay at home break.

We did our holiday catchup with our friends Catriona and Jose last Monday. It’s become a ritual that we love, we meet Bec and her kids there and have lunch, eating lots of yummys and drinking lots of cuppas. Beth always wants to know why we are going to visit her ‘ex boyfriend’, Jose isn’t aware that they were ever going out. He’s at mainstream high school with a full time aide and seems to be doing pretty well. He’s a popular boy and enjoys socialising, something that Beth really isn’t interested in that much.

Tuesday we went to the movies with one of Beth’s old friends Jess and her sister Hayley who is Bridie’s friend. It was nice, tight arse Tuesdays were even cheaper with tickets to kids movies being reduced to $6.00 each. We came home and the girls watched a movie. I’m never sure what to do when Beth has playdates. Her version of a friend coming over is them watching her play on the ipad. They sat outside for a while, I think they all enjoyed themselves.

On Thursday Bridie and Bill went to sleepovers at friends houses. I dropped Bill of at his friend Stevies and was having a cuppa with his mum when I realised Beth had disappeared. She was with the boys. Stevie had another friend there – Ethan. I thought ‘here we go’ and I was right. I heard Beth asking if Ethan would like to go out on a date with her. For some reason she thought he was Stevie’s nanny. She hasn’t shut up about him. I had to say that he is only 13, that he is too young for her. Poor boy, he didn’t know what to say but he was lovely about it!

The sun has been out a lot these holidays so we bought a big swing chair to sit outside on. Beth decided that she wanted to go to Chesterfield Farm and she wanted Paul to take her. As their relationship has been a bit strained lately I of course encouraged this and the other kids went too. Paul had yesterday off so off they went at 10, not getting home ’til about 1.30pm. When they got home Beth told me she had seen her second cousin Olly. Now the kids do have a second cousin called Olly so I naturally assumed it was him. I asked and Paul said that this Olly was a camel. When she took him to see the camel Paul asked ‘how is he your second cousin?’ and Beth replied “He’s on mums side of the family. I’m part camel!”

Beth had a little fall the other night. When Paul asked her to show him her hip she said to him “That would be inappropriate Dad, I can’t expose myself to you.” She does amaze me sometimes with not only the correct rules that she lives by but her use of language, she’s usually using the correct words. Then again she does study a dictionary for fun.

I’ll leave you with a Beth funny. We were watching Kung Fu Panda 2 the other night and Beth has clearly studied it quite extensively. She went in and out of characters, using their tone and knowing it word for word. If she wasn’t talking as them she was yelling words of encouragement to the screen like a football game. It must be so interesting in her head!

Poor old Bethie’s been sick lately. Poor old me had had to deal with it. It’s not been too bad, having an enforced stay at home has been quite lovely but also very restricting at times. I’ve been trying to catch up with good friends for weeks and just haven’t had the chance. I need my girl time!

Beth had all of last week off. I’m so conscious of trying not to give her too much time off. She had a few days when Dad was sick, then a few more days after he died. She’d only been back two days and she got sick. She’s had a lot of sick days this year too. She had the week off and I didn’t bother taking her to the doctors as it was basically just a bad cold, or so it seemed. On the weekend she got wheezy for the first time in ages so I took her to the doctors on Monday and she has bronchitis. She’s on prednisone which is fabulous because it means that my child who finds it hard to sleep anyway has an extra boost of stay awake help. (I’m holding up my sarcasm sign in case you’re wondering). She’s pretty good in herself but the cough is horrid and she’s still a bit wheezy. Of course she was most excited when told she’d need at least the rest of this week off too. Bill and Bridie have a school production today, luckily they haven’t been sick this week too. Bill had gastro last week, there’s so much going around with all the weather changes, it’s vile.

Beth’s been coping pretty well since Dad died. She does say a few things though so I know she’s thinking about him. She worries so much when others get sick, even when she saw my friends pet goldfish that had died, she talked about it later that night. It’s a hard thing because it’s a part of life but as I don’t get how her mind works at times I don’t know quite how to explain things to help her. She was being pretty inappropriate to start with, which is just her way. It’s difficult when you’re grieving though, I know she doesn’t mean things to be insensitive but it’s just how she words things. For example we were watching an episode of Modern Family where they were talking about eating blood sausage. She asked me what it is and I said it might be the same as our version of black pudding which we used to have often for breakfast with a cook up when I was a kid. She asked whether my mum or my dad cooked it and I said I couldn’t remember. She then said “You know they’re both dead don’t you?” I said that yes I did and that it was an insensitive thing to say when I am upset. She then said “I miss Gransha – is that better?” So I said that yes, that was a better thing to say. She said the same thing to Bridie in the car one day when I had said we would do something as a tribute to Gransha and Bridie said “woohoo go Grandsha!” Beth said to her “You know he’s dead don’t you Bridie?” Followed by a look to me and saying “I know, I know, I miss Gransha!” At least she’s trying.

I’ll leave you with a Beth funny or three. One of them may not have ended up as funny mind you. She stuck a 5 cent coin up her nose the other week. Dopey bugger. I think it was because she had a runny nose and she thought it may have stopped it. Rather than going into the toilet and blowing her nose and risk missing some of her show, she chose to stick a coin up there instead and couldn’t get it out. Luckily Paul was home, he made her hold one side and blow and out it came. She was annoyed with me for keeping on at her to blow her nose. When I asked her to do it she said to me “Why do you have to be such a psycho control freak?!” Another one was to do with a movie. We were watching a kids movie, I can’t remember which one. I went to the loo and when I came back there was a strange boy who I hadn’t seen before. I asked Beth who it was and she said “We haven’t formally met”. I take it that means she didn’t know! And last but not least, Beth and I were talking about how cuddly boy cats were compared to girl cats. I said about how I had thought our old cat Henry was a boy when I got her and went on to explain that I was mistaken. Beth chimes in with “Oh, so she had a sex change then?” She’s entertaining to say the least!

What a horrible year it’s been. Literally an annus horribilis in the words of the queen. First we lost my aunty Pat in February. Now we’ve lost my lovely Dad too. He had a type of leukaemia that we didn’t realise was as aggressive as it was. He had a stroke three weeks ago and never came out of the hospital. The doctors said it was caused by the leukaemia. Because he was so weak the doctors told us it wouldn’t be long and it wasn’t. My aunty flew out from the UK to see him which was lovely. Right up until he died he was lucid and we had been told that he may actually have a bit longer but they think he developed a chill in the night and he died at 7 the next morning. If there was a nice way to go that was it. We had told each other we loved the other when I said goodbye on the Monday, I certainly didn’t leave thinking it was the end. He had headaches and was sore from being in bed but apart from that he wasn’t in a lot of pain. And he just fell asleep and didn’t wake up. I still don’t believe it’s real to tell you the truth. His funeral was two days ago, even that hasn’t really made it real…

I told the kids that Dad was dying which was really hard. As my mum died when I was 13, we’ve always tried to say about how if she was sick these days she probably would have lived, that there are so many more advancements now with cancer. But the reality is that people do die from it these days too. Mikayla, the little girl at their school who died a few years ago now, they’re lovely Aunty Pat who was like a grandmother to them, and now their beloved Gransha. His name was Bill, that’s who we named our son after. Our Bill went to visit him and when we came home he said ‘oh well at least I know he’ll get better’ and I had to tell him that sadly he wouldn’t. He was devastated. In fact all the kids were. Beth of course has a funny way of showing things though. She has been quite matter of fact about the whole thing. She told me that she wasn’t going to cry anymore for people who died of cancer. I’m not sure of her reasoning, I think she just didn’t want to make herself upset. When we were told he only had a week I had organised the kids and planned on going down to their house in Rye to stay until the end. I left on the Friday and we had been given til the Tuesday. I told Beth she would have the following week off. When I ended up coming home on the Sunday, after Dad had been given longer, Beth was pretty dirty because I told her she had to go back to school. I ended up giving her the Monday off and on the Tuesday morning when I got the call, I was getting them all ready for school. After I got off the phone she asked why I was crying and I told her. She said how sad she was then said ‘so I get the day off school after all then?!’

Dad died on the day that we all found out that Robin Williams had died. Paul and I spent the day at Rye and speaking with the funeral director with the family. We got home and as you can imagine I was  tired and emotional. We were watching tv in bed and Beth kept saying ‘I’m going to miss Robin Williams.’ I ended up saying that she was being rather insensitive as she wasn’t saying it about Gransha. She apologized and said ‘But Robin Williams was in Mrs Doubtfire, Jumanji and Night and the Museum’ amongst other movies she’d seen. To her credit she did shut up about it after that.

Dad’s funeral was on Tuesday and if you could say a funeral was terrific, then Dad’s was. It was packed to the rafters, standing room only, and it was a mixture of lots of tears and lots of laughter. My dad was a bugger, a shitstirrer and a very funny man. The stories that came out had us all in stitches. Beth was next to me and kept staring at me as I cried. Then when I was laughing she said to me ‘It’s not a comedy revue, why are you all laughing?’ Probably because I told her she wasn’t to say anything inappropriate or insensitive. She must have thought we were being terribly inappropriate! She ended up going home with Paul’s parents after the service which made things a little easier for me.

Today the kids went back to school. We were running a little later than usual, I just can’t seem to get motivated yet. I kept them home yesterday but Bridie was hard work so I figured if I could get through the making lunches and driving (after hitting a pole absentmindedly on Saturday) I could have the house to myself for a while. Beth of course told me she was sick. I thought to myself ‘here comes the “I’ve got a sore you know what” ‘ as I had kept her home twice because of this complaint before. Last time I called her bluff because I was going to IKEA with friends and she was fine! The first time she did have an infection. And sure enough there it was. ‘You have to take me to the doctor, I have an infection, I promise I’m not lying.’ She’s very convincing. With that and the other, sitting on the toilet ’til I go in there, pretending she had the runs. Anyway, I took her with threats of loss of ipad privileges if she didn’t shut up!

I’ve made a big decision. Dad loved my blog and he was always on at me to turn it into a book. I always wanted to write a book from diagnosis up until I started the blog, or until she started at high school. I just never got around to it. Every time Dad read one of my posts he would ring me to talk about it. Not just about the mistakes I made either! He said I was like the man who wrote the Commitments, he said he wrote like he talked. I was always a bit worried about Dad reading this blog, he was a professional Journalist and author and very good at what he did. I thought he’d be horrified at the fact that I don’t use rules when I write. So it was such an honour to get his stamp of approval. So I’m going to do it. I’m going to write my book and dedicate it to my Dad. xxx I’m going to pop a couple of pictures in of my Dad with our Bethie.

Dare I say it, things are going pretty well at the moment. We’re back at school after the July school holidays which were lovely. We didn’t do a great deal, I had lots of study and assignments to do so the kids kept themselves busy. Paul took Bill and Bridie to Phillip Island for a night which was a godsend, Beth didn’t want to go but she’s the easy one when we’re at home so we had a lovely quiet couple of days. We went to the movies to see Rio 2 and visited friends. Beth wanted to know why we were going to visit her ex boyfriend Jose, not that he ever knew that he was her boyfriend in the first place!

School started back last week and surprisingly Beth didn’t try and make out like she was getting sick in the last few days of the holidays. I’ve been giving her probiotics lately and hadn’t seen much difference in her except for that I could give her the melatonin without her getting the runs. On Monday this week I was going to IKEA with some of the school mums and Beth got up and told me that she wasn’t well. She cried and moaned and said she had sore bits and it annoyed me so much that I just said to her I was sick of her lying about being sick and she was going. She pleaded with me, asking when she could stay home and that she wasn’t lying. I dropped her off and spoke to the lady in the office, telling her she could call me if she absolutely had to and Beth was just fine. If I hadn’t had been going out I probably would have been more sympathetic and believed her so it was good to see that if I persevered then all was ok. Since then she’s been quite amazing. That night and then the last three nights she’s come out of school all chatty and smiles, telling me all about her day and asking about mine. She’s been wonderful. Last night we were watching the tely and an ad came on for a movie that was MA15+. Beth said ‘oh so Lochlan was right, it is MA15+’ I asked who Lochlan is and she said ‘my friend from school.’ WHAT?? I double checked if he was a real boy (not like the boyfriend who ended up being a mammoth from a movie) and yes, she told me his last name and said they were friends. I even checked with other parents from school and I actually know the mum who is lovely so I know he’ll be a nice boy. I’m amazed! Small thing to some but Beth really hasn’t considered anybody a friend in the two and a half years we’ve been there. I’m so pleased!

I’m going to pop a little film on here, of Beth doing a performance at assembly. I didn’t know about it because she hadn’t brought the notice home (again) so she was rather put out that I wasn’t there. Her middle school coordinator kindly filmed it for me, I think she’s rather good. drums

I’ll leave you with a couple of Beth funnies. A little one is that when I picked her up yesterday she was walking backwards down the corridor with a huge grin on her face, trying to trick me! Love that girl!  Another was that the coordinator told me that when on an excursion Beth told the staff that the last time she went on an excursion she ran off into the night naked. She forgot to tell them that it was a dream much to their worry. And the last which is a goodie. She went to grandma and grandpas and had an apple. Bev asked her where her apple core was because she’d found one under a pillow a few weeks before. Beth said there’s an apple fairy who exchanges cores for money if you put them under the pillow. Nice try!

I’ve had Beth home again this week. She nearly passed out on Tuesday over her breakfast, she fell down on her knees and then vomitted which was quite scary but it only happened once. She’s also had a cold. It’s a hard one because she’s very good at faking an illness but because I know she is sick but not really to what degree I’m not sure what to do. I didn’t send her yesterday (Wednesday) because she was still really blocked up and they had a sports day which I knew she wouldn’t participate in. Then this morning she had a touch of the runs, and the cold and her head was really clammy so I believed her but she’s been fine ever since. I called the middle school coordinator to apologize for having her home so much this year, she was fine about it. I spoke to her about how much Beth hates school. I even asked if she could go part time, do distance education at home and go there for the things that I can’t give her like the work experience and training. Socially she’s not interested in making friends much as I’d love it if she did. But I can’t do the job pathways and all the other stuff that a special school is experienced in doing. Much as I’d love not having to drive, she wouldn’t be self motivated enough to do the distance education, every time I’d turn my back she’d be playing a game!

The latest thing which doesn’t seem to be working is Beth trying to act like a big girl. Every day she tells me she’s been a big girl and every day she does several things that show she’s not acting like a big girl. And she knows, that’s the frustrating thing. If I catch her out she straight away says ‘I’m a big girl mum!’ She’s saying this because I’ve told her that from now on 8.30pm is her bedtime, time to pack up the ipad and roll over and go to sleep, not the 10.30 that she was staying up until. She’s objected profusely to this, telling me that the others go to bed at that time and they’re much younger than her. This is true but they behave better than her! Some of the things that she has done this week to prove that she’s not a big girl are : Giving herself a love bite on her upper arm, getting her thighs stuck in coat hangers, sucking on the plastic from her magazine packet, rolling up little bits of tissues and either getting them stuck up her nose or shredding them all over the bed, partially eating her wet weet bix with her fingers, sharing her plate of food with the cat and wiping her runny nose on my pillow when she thought I wasn’t looking! And she’s being really bossy and annoying, telling me off for swearing, telling Bridie she’s done the wrong thing, basically saying the opposite of whatever we say. Driving me bloody crazy!